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Monday, February 23, 2009'♥



i just wana break loose on whats happening .
i cant expect things to go my ways right ((:
so yeap , fo now , let me just enjoy myself , because everyone deserves that baby .
sorry cause there wont be any update from 24-26 february .
and its like tomorrow and i really cant wait fo that .
i hope everything go on smoothly . amin .
im offf to Jb later and meet Lynn babe to do th marinating .
so there wont be muc of an update here ((:
and he will prolly turn up tomorrow , make me jump fo joy can ?

to all people , happy eating and live your life to th fullest .
and TI is countin down to his days he will jailed .
urgh , and im really sad sad and i wont be listening to his new songs fo a year .
take care ehhhhh ((:

Thought of You @11:43 AM



Saturday, February 21, 2009'♥


im really pissed off to th very extreme .
well someone is just so lucky to really get on my nerves .
i don't like th way you are living your life .
id be gone if im in th picture , but do you know exactly what you were saying .
well now that i see th truth , i never blamed her but you should be ashamed of th words you conveyed to her as well as cheating on yourself .
that is such a disgrace to me .
what i can really advice you is , since you have been longing fo th single life , go and live your life to th fullest pretending that theres no end to it . just remember that someone's watching you .
and isolate yourself and go get into a peaceful ambience and think like a man .
well , i think you should fo now .
im so sorry fo i was very mad at you because you are just so confused about yourself .
and i never wanna treat you like my enemy .
but you choose and you have picked up on your own decision , so yes , ill back off , brother .

take care and goodluc in your future endeavours .
i thought you can make it alone but you didnt .
you just remind me of someone who no longer exist .
so much of a blood relation , attitude just follows .

off to my sister's house ((:

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Thought of You @2:53 PM



Friday, February 20, 2009'♥


and this was meant fo you gorgeous lady .

explains so much of being 20 , i dislike behaving like a childish bitch (like how you define it), or to be exact , be a motherfucker in blog and start to disgrace anyone . just get your points right and make sure that you have your vivid evidence to speak up and not make any unhumanly assumptions .

and here i am living my life as a 20 year old bitch , to be good and stop being so judgemental over things . and im not a coward to let out my angers here because i believe in talking right in front of your face . so , should there be any puking to be done , ill do it .

if you are being such a one sided thinker , why not you open your mind here and think like a WOMAN okay ? so here it goes .

i know how it feels talking to my exBf when he is attached . i thought you trusted him ? why bother to get so mad about it ? anw , to be clear , i was just talking and sharing thoughts and not more than that .
whatever that you claimed in your blog was something which had happened long time ago .
put yourself in my shoe , now that you feel it , dya like th idea of him talking to you like really a friend when you guys just broke up ? i uttered to him those words last time . but now , im open to almost everything , and we talked like a friend and have always did that .

what im really sure of is that , he still loves you . and i love him too , just like my younger brother . you can always ask him , if you are really unsure about it .
please stop assuming , i hate that okay .
you guys just started out and i know th love is blooming , and at th start of th rship , you fought with him . what an impression are you revealing about yourself ? is that how you work on it ?
and you are only 17 , please lahhh pick someone of your own age ; where have your fundamental character developing gone to ? hows your upbringing like when you were young ?
didnt your parents teach you to respect th elders , even th elder is on your nerve .
why not you blog like that but talk about your mom when she made you go mad this time round ?
think lah okay , be matured enough , not onli i despise that , but people around you too .
takmoooo fanaticccc lahhh oiiii , timeee lambattt uhhh kaoooo .
tak kann jadiii pukiii missskiiinnn kannnn ?
gado pasalll konekkk uat apppeee ? dah tkk nakkk sudahh uhhh .

my friends said that . and yeah , th main reason fo him to ask fo a break is because he find himself in a hurry when he still feels like being a single . he needs you to fill up your time .

that is just so shallow of you , baby ((:

i got a lil tipsy yesterday , thanks people .
i love you guys .
lets get drunk at th chalet and boogie our ass out ((:
and i still love you alrighhhhtttt

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Thought of You @6:49 PM



Thursday, February 19, 2009'♥



ah yes , everytime when i wanted to blog , th moment i want to write on something , ideas will go blank in a sudden . it irritates me alot when i already knew whats there to update this time round .

pardon me fo not updating often because i go out almost everyday . and i cant blog at night cause th internet is in my sister's room . i think i will get th Starhub mobile broadband soon . i really couldnt live without internet with me .

nothing much during th holidays . practically , i have been trying to keep myself busy when im at home . its either i pretend doing my work when actually im not , and preparing worksheets fo my tutee . she is so NO COMMENT . i think i should go on a voodoo . ok not , i never wanna practice those unhealthy things .

yesterday , after tutoring i rushed back home because ishak called me waiting fo his CD . had a 5 mins dinner (how fast i eat) and rushed down to my void deck to pass him th disc . we talked alot . me , Diana , Ishack and Putra . and Ishak asked me to tag along to send Diana off to Yishun . in th car , im much on th quiet side there cause i really feel awkward . well , i dont know why , but i hope ill get use to my past ambience . i mean not being someone who is a spoilt brat , be someone who doesnt care whats in th past because i know where is my future now .

yeap , after which , Ishak sent me off to Amir's block and i waited fo him . had a lil bit of misunderstanding , but it was not my fault right ? well i dont know . we went to JB together with Khai . and what ? i reached home at around 1++ . mom was listening to MJ 12 .
i slept on Amir yesterday , im really sorry .
i realised now that i sleep like a Pig lahh . HAHA !

okay when i wanted to write so much , something hinders me from doing so .
i really need to do my assignment which is due on tuesday .
damn , i dont know how and where to start .
i need a lil bit of idea and help here cliques ((:

update soon about my single-and-ready-to-mingle life .
kan ? ouh , tak ehhh ? HAHA !
im here taking it slow , baby ((:

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Thought of You @10:15 AM



Tuesday, February 17, 2009'♥

a little announcement fo all th chalet people who are going next week .
im looking forward to it .
please be reminded that you are suppose to do your homework , you should know what they are by now .
and there will be a final round-up meeting by on this thursday . please bring 15 bucks by this thursday because everything shall be done by this sunday .
so please turn up fo th meeting . because i dont wanna get things screwed up on the day itself .
to those people who cant turn up , please transfer th money to niza by thursday ; thank you so much people ((: i appreciate th effort
currently , im at my sis house .
i dont know what to do now , im pretty bored .
help her with her PC .
and somehow , im addicted to jessica mauboy song ; running back .
credits to yana , i find th song very meaningful .
welll , it helps to express whats inside me .
i justt need to keep myself busy , so that i wont have th time to think about it .
thats how i deal with moving on .
i know its not easy , but i need th strong courage to keep myself going .
and im sure , with time , it will help me to heal everything .
im all so confused about whats happening now .
i wish i could run away from it , but i never be labelled as a 'coward'
so ill prolly leave to tutor later at 4 .
and if its confirm , ill go fo a shisha after that .
i dont wanna stay home .
cause ill sulk so much and bleed .



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Thought of You @11:31 AM



Saturday, February 14, 2009'♥

I'm extremely pissed off with blogger because i couldn't update any pictures in here .
so this post will go on without a picture .

on last random thursday , i went out with my cliques to club fo th first time .
after so long of not going . and i was looking forward to it once mother let me out with them .
altogether , there were 7 of us .
me , Diniy , Niza , Shida , Khad , Jibby and Wan .
i had a marvellous time with them and i was back home by 5 in th morning .

and then , i felt shitty when i woke up th next morning .
then , i wipe those tears away and pretended like nothing happened .
i have to take th full courage to keep myself going .
i'm so weak but i'm left with no other choice but patience .
then , i went out to bowling with my friends .
i had a great time with them .
they advised me and i cried terribly .
and i spent hours talking on th phone with Niza Babe .
thanks fo the advices and sharing of opinions .
i really appreciate it people .
thanks friends , you have always been there fo me .

and now , i think im leading a good life .
and i dont need anyone to destroy my life , again .
to who i may hurt in th future , im sorry but you lead me this way .
you can't blame me but yourself .
and goodluc in your future endeavours ((:

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Thought of You @3:53 PM



Wednesday, February 11, 2009'♥



th moment i wanted to type something down in my blog , ill start blabbering nonsense .
fo some reason , i have to be aware of what i should be typing down or mention in my blog , because there are these people besides loyal readers reading my blog . and i think they are my stalker .

i had a marvellous outing with Bf fo th weekends .
okay , no on saturday , to be exact .
initially , we planned to go to marina and be those typical town people there .
you know punch your card there .
and we intended to walk around at marina square and chill at th steps .
and in th end , we ended up at West Coast Park .
me , Bf , Khai , Shikin and her Bf .
well , we had Macdonald fo supper , it was fun .
when i was bored , i played PSP till its battery ran flat .
burnout sucks a lot lahhhh . okay bye .
den we dont know where to go since its only 11 pm and we never wanna end at home early .
at th carpark , we brainstorm fo a perfect place to go .
and we ended up going to karaoke at grandlink .
its a budget karaoke , it will be charged depending on th room and th no. of people .
we got a small room and i shall tell you guys that th sound system is tremendously awful .
well , what do you expect with paying 8 bucks per hour .
at 0230 we went to esso and chill there . random right ? but its fun lahh .
we laughed our heads offf .
spent my time with Bf , and then he sent me back home .

bf bf , yeah , its really a hard time fo me and you .
especially with th commitments im going through .
but no matter what hold us back ,
i will always love you and always will .
thanks fo th seconds spent , it was more than i could have asked fo .
i love th way you are ((:

and yana , remember when we went kekok th first time we talked on th phone .
but now , we talked as if theres no end to it and i want more can ?
we talked as if we had all th tiime to us and no one else .

ouh chalet chalet chaletttt ((:






Thought of You @1:53 PM



Monday, February 09, 2009'♥


i woke up early today , which im really proud of .
since th start of the hols , i woke up at 12 in th afternoon .
i can tell you i sleep like a pig .
lets make it short alright ((:

i would like to take this morning opportunity to wish my brother (picture above along with his kid) a
HAPPY 35TH BIRTHDAY ((:
semoga panjang umur dan murah rezeki yerr .
GOODLUCK IN YOUR FUTURE ENDEAVOURS
AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU IN ANYTHING THAT YOU DO .
COME MEET US SOON CAUSE I MISS YOU , SIS-IN-LAW & HAFEEZ !

okay , i promise you people that i will update more about me , myself and no one else . HEH .
erm , about chalet people , we ave decided to amend everything again .
so that everyone have their own part to play .
and we will email you guys about the plan everything .
please give lynn sometime because she is really busy right now .
and to people who never know that my blog exist , please inform them .
people prolly have to sacrifice another 20 fo us .
now that includes the food and everything .

ill update soonnn
LOVE LOVE LOVE .
i wonder where have i gone wrong this time .
i know i shouldnt utter such words , i know i have offended you a lot .
but no matter what , i just want you to know that ;
for every tiff that we had , it brought us closer and i love you more .
id like to apologise if i hurt you in any ways .
but to be true enough , it wasnt me when you though i was , and i swear im not that kind of girl who would react to such extent .

because i cant sleep till you're next to me
its feels like ; INSOMNIA



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Thought of You @10:41 AM



Sunday, February 08, 2009'♥


here is a quick update .
i dont have any pictures with me on yesterday quality time spent with BF .
i will upload it once i have it because i did not bring my cam yet AGAIN and i used his phone .

this post will go out specially to all th people who are going fo th chalet .
i really need your attention and co-operation .
to those who never know that my blog exist , please inform them alright .
okay , about th food ; do you guys prefer to get a catering or a potluck ?
i think potluck is better . because catering is way too little and expensive .
dont you guys think so ?
moreover , the food is 10-15 pax .
and it cost 100 ++ .
we have to think about the cliques who will be bringing their BFs/Gfs along to th chalet .
i think its way not enough .
about th second day food , we cann think of something else .
we have to get th bbq perfect before th 2nd day .
th 2nd day , we can think of something else kannnn .
please , get back to me as soon as possible .
i dont want to get it clogged up at th very last minute .
please , lets work together alright .
thank you so much


XoXO
nurul


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Thought of You @7:59 PM



Saturday, February 07, 2009'♥



while waiting fo BF , i decided to update my blog .
i need to pour out this goddamn stress in my head .
well not about Rship fo everything is going on perfectly fine .
im mugging on my last two semesters' modules . i felt like crying because i need to jot down a lot of notes and read a lot . im reading a 975 pages of material science and engineering book , and guess where am i ? only on th 50th page ! my brain is not helping and i have to get a clearer view by th next meeting with my FYP mates .
they say poly life is fun , BUT hell NO , its depressing and it will kill your brain nerves !
i wonder how th rest of my team mates are coping now . urgh , im in no mood to study .
shucks , holiday means STUDY !

i met Salwa yesterday and we shared a lot . she even recalled th time i accompany her to her school fo netball practice . when i cant even remember it , okay im bad , screw me up now .
i still remembered we had a tiff over little things , okay about FAIZAH , and i gave up . salwa came to me and beg me on my knees not to end th friendship because she treasure me alot .
we hugged each other , though i didnt like th idea of her begging me .
though years have passed , i really missed th time i had fun with her , do new things together . she stayed over at my house every weekends . ouh and since things are totally different now , i really cherish her as a bestfriend of mine . we have been through a lot of thick and thin together aye ? i love you babe

Bf , thanks fo all th great things you have done fo me .
well , i know at times im not behaving well and we had a lot of misunderstandings . but no matter what hold us back , im gonna hold on to your hands and never wanna let you go . you are th sweetest . thanks fo th laughters , i swear to you i never laugh so loud with you before . th best part of my day is always with you , BF . though im really busy with school and other commitment , i would like to apologise if at any point of time , you felt neglected . but whatever it is , i will always try my best to be there fo you everyday .
ehem2 , i love you ((;


mcm abang2 lobang . HEH



and this is my sister's last child . well i hope no more eh kak . your house like kindergarten school already you know . i wonder how she cope with all her 4 kids at one time . if i were her , i would have head bang my head on th wall . my sister have th greatest patience , i would say , because no matter what hurts her inside , she will always be strong to stand on her two feet and make her way through th hurdles in life .
and th baby above is Nur Haifa Dhania . she is simply addorableeee , ouh i love her to th earth's core . she cries like tarzan even i cant tolerate that . if i have a kid , i would seal her/his mouth . eh , tak lahh , nanti duduk jail plk . she is 2 months old now ((:



cause my heart hope to die on everything thats good , ima do you right show you right get this understood
XoXoXo , nurul ((:
feeling Gossip Girl lahhhhh

Thought of You @5:46 PM



Friday, February 06, 2009'♥


i hate it whenever i forget to bring my digi cam wherever i went .
BF will say that im 'selenge' and i will always miss th best part of th day and that is to be a picture whore .

yesterday was a horrible day at th start , well not really .
people just have to turn up late fo th meeting . i was early at first but when niza texted me that she will be coming at 12 , i decided to call BF and have breakfast together .
sweet kannnn ? eat th corn bread and laugh my heads off in th morning with BF .
off to woodlands to do literature review with my FYP mates . i can feel th stress now , i couldnt believe that theres so many things fo me to do when its just th start of it .
had my lunch at Civic's McDonalds , while we waited fo Niza .
and went to school to print out notes and borrow book from th library .
screw community libraries ; i wonder why cant we loan a reference book when that is th most important book that we need , damn .
and we went to th photocopy room to copy some notes and while half way we are through it , the machine got jammed . FUCK FUCK FUCK !
we seek fo th librarian's help but they cant do anything , and i called th no. displayed on th machine but they did not answer my calll . BAD SERVICE .

im sorry babe fo i did not turn up yesterday to your house .
im sure to make it today , i mean later , after im done with blogging .
and yes , i cant wait to look at your baby ((:

on random , some people told me it was weird to have a guy blogger .
well , to me its cool and sex isnt th factor . so long as you keep your blog updated would be a forward-looking fo other readers to visit yours .
but fo th sake of you being so bored , and decide to create an online diary , i think you should get a life . maybe you havent yet had one thats why you turn to let down and seek sympathy and when you literally have a life , you decide to neglect it .
i would understand if you are busy and gone missing due to unforeseen circumstances .
ouh boy , go get life ((:

and hell yes , before i shut off , i would like to say this ,
i miss th whole of my babes , and i swear to god i cant wait fo th chalet .
i want 23 now pplease !!!

every step you take , i would always be right behind you , supporting you .
since that is th only thing that i could sacrifice for you BF .
I love you very much , Hamirul Hasraff ((:


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Thought of You @12:29 PM



Monday, February 02, 2009'♥



yeap this is it people , this is going to be th quickest update ever .
well , i wont be sharing about where i ended up fo th past few days but what i can tell you , i did nothing but just to kill time .
and have been really busy thinking about my project , but didnt do anything about it.
well , im a procrastinator . LOL !

anyways , this post will go out to all my cliques alright .
Sri , Syidah ,Lyana , Niza , Diniy , Aqilah , Lynn , Jibby , Mel .
well , if you guys noticed , we actually missed out Sue birthday .
initially , we are not bad , but it happened at th very last second and most of us cannot make it .
well , on th day itself , we thought of making it a surprise at her workplace but it was cancelled . so i thought we could make up fo it on this coming friday (6/02)
we are going to buy a cake , so as usual , we have to chut money lahh kannn .
and then , we are going to celebrate and discuss about our potluck .
so i would need your great support and co-operation to turn up on th following days .
maybe around 5 , because she ends work around that time .
please try to reach me in all th various technologies that exist in th world .
well , the nearest would be th tagboard .
alright people , thank you so much
and yea , i dont think sue knows my link , so please people , keep this among us , we'll try to make a surprise fo her alright . thank you thank you . heh :D

XOXO , nurul ((:

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Thought of You @2:56 PM







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NURUL SHAHEDA
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Hamirul Hasraff
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