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Monday, December 22, 2008'♥

im really lazy to go online during th hols , but since mom asked me a lil favour about gstoffset thingy , here i am squeezing a lil bit of my time blogging .

im using my sister's lappy and yet again , i have not uploaded any pictures from my digi cam . i have to admit , though its th most simplest thing to do on earth , im really lazy at plugging it in and 'copy' and 'paste' pictures into my lappy .

Jaja shared thousands of stories with me . we make up fo everything since it's holiday . so she talked to me on th phone , share th dirty little secrets , exchange thoughts and feelings & not forgetting advices too .

babe , i know you get a lil messed up with whats happening lately .
im sure you are able to pull it through one day .
all you need is courage and determination to keep yourself going .
get urself alone and think of how exactly you feel .
should there be any way to improve on it , work on it .
well , if dont , take a step back and think of things that you should re-consider .
i never want you to regret making a harsh decision .
ive been in your shoes once , here's th best advice that i can possibly think of .
you need to balance out th whole situation alright .
im here to help you through your darkest days .
you have always been there fo me , giving me motivations at night , wish me before you're off to bed . macam mataer gitu eh . LOL !
all that , a big big thank you darling ((:
and yes , i feel that i need to let it out here and let you know that
we missed out a lot and we need to clean up th aftermath , if theres any .
we shall talk more often alright .
we need to do many many catch-ups .
ps: call me when you have reached singapore .
i really miss you , babe .
and gues what , ive been having eerie dreams for two consecutive days .
im telling you , im not prepare fo it to happen to any of my family members , at all .
im missing a lot of people lately .
and its you , yes you that im referring to .


Thought of You @12:34 PM

Tuesday, December 16, 2008'♥

an apology because i dont have any recent pictures with me .
im kinda lazy to upload it , so i guess ill blogg about th outings i had next time ayt ?
i have been going out from morning till next morning fo 4 consecutive days .
and yeah , i neglected blogging . im sorry .

anihoos , it has come to my attention that people are getting a lil pain in my ass .
being so defensive , well im fine with it .
but stop blaming people when its your fault lah can .
whatever it is , i hate that .

and yeah , on random talked with Jaja last night was awesome .
sometimes girls have these problem of jealousy , dont you think so ?
getting jealous when your Bff have other friends to spend her time with .
dont expect your Bff to cling on to you fo th whole of her entire life .
and yeah , when she has a new Gf , you will start to hint her indirectly .
whats th biggest problem with that ?
apart from that , especially when your Bff has got herself a new thing .
you knew it and decide to get th same thing like her .
th problem now , you dont have your own personality .
your dream has always been to impersonate someone else .
not only that , when your Bff has been admiring 'this' guy .
and you pretend to be super hotter than her and think you can go and grab that boy .
what makes you think you are so marvellous when you dont even have that hour-glass figure .
no tits and ass ? problem right ?
so please , reflect yourself in th mirror and ask yourself , how much you are worth for ?
such a despise , i hate that .

more random talks with Jaja was fun , because she really made me crack my brain and really think about the pros and cons over an issue .
so we are actually balancing th whole situation and not be a one-sided thinker .
thats so kuno

i hate two-faced people .
pretend to be good in front of their own Bff when in th end , she is th serial killer .
its happening , and i cant be bothered about it .
you messed it , you clean it yourself .
i just dont want to get myself involve , so much that ive been closing an eye fo you , you took it fo granted .
dont let me turn to you and say it out , thats when ill let you down and all alone .

your world's greatest besfriend might end up being your tightest enemy one day ,
so be careful alright ((:

Thought of You @10:40 AM

Friday, December 12, 2008'♥

on super random note , (th guy in the picture above) is my latest and current addiction .
he is awesome on videos , his personality stands out from th rest that ive seen so far .
he seems so hyper when performing , ouh gosh .
he is cute , well thats to me .
afterall , we all have our own taste .
Clifford Joseph Harris Jr. a.k.a T.I is so sexy . LOL !
if he ever comes to singapore fo a concert , i will save up my money .
im so obsessed , thats it .
his was born on th 25th september 1980 .
that was 8 yrs and 11 months before i was born . shucks !
mom , im too early .

looking at his clips make me happy , putting all those unnecessary judgemental people whom i wish i dont bump into .
say what ever you've got .
let me tell you this .
whats more ? shut th hell up and get back to your own business .
jgn jage tepi kain orang boleh tak ?
i dont need you to guide me , ok not .
you are not guiding but choosing my future .
when i know what im good and weak at .
so **** off , you are really a pain in my ass ((:

im enjoying life now , things got better , better than ever before .
happy holidays , republicans ((:


Thought of You @3:13 PM


Thank God its Friday !
i am really looking forward to today .
i woke up late fo school and i was lazy at first .
but since it's th last lesson fo this year , i might as well turn up fo it .
not forgetting to my MIA fo a few lessons in today's module .
i dont wish to repeat fo another 4 months .
RP is not helping me in anw to study . shucks !

about life ? ouh no , these people (above) complete my life .
they are th one who motivate , support , encourage , has always been there fo me .
i appreciate that the babes (one person missing , Lyana) .
we knew each other fo less than a year , but i swear th bond and interest we had fo each other is like we've known fo a lifetime .
i thank God because i get to meet these people in life .
thanks a lot babe fo cheering me up everyday .
my soul is always happy when i have you guys around me .

lets touch a lil about rlationship .
its normal to see couples fighting and get back together after a few days .
whats so abnormal about it ?
emotions wise , boys and girls are th same .
but whats to blame is the generation of maturity in girls and boys are different .
thats th main factor in rlationship issues nowadays .
but then , to see them to go back again , its a good thing , dont you think so ?
what matters most is , they use their brain to think and decide whats good fo them and also not to let th love die right .
but its not ideal to follow our heart , because it leads to someone you can never be .

and on random note , i miss [DBF]

th person you meet after your first love is all fated .
treat th girl like your last , and the girl will have you like their first


Thought of You @10:43 AM

Thursday, December 11, 2008'♥

i changed , situation changed , everything have changed .
dont ask me why , im giving up on almost everything .
even life , cause if this is th objective , i dont need it .

its time to find someone new , be it Gf BF or whatever you may call it .
cause i need a friend , to support
cause i need a friend , to help me through
cause i need a friend , to talk to
cause i need a friend , to understand
cause i need a friend , to advice me .

i dont need a friend , to follow what they say when my heart dont feel like it .

Thought of You @3:48 PM


i made it through the weekends and holidays . weeeee~
as much as i thought i can never move an inch , i could indeed .
things were not as tough as it may seems , courage is all it takes .
to live up my life reflecting about the past , is so unnecessary .
whats th point of pleading when one cant compromise ?
if thats what he/she wants fo so long , just sacrifice .
& one day , they will realise when memories come across their mind .
so im gonna let everything be put down to rest .
i still have one major problem in mind and now , all i ever need to think is about my future .
i dont need people to pull me back , i need people to push me forward .
to give me th motivation , encouragement and confidence .
ill be at my very best now , what a woman should have .

listening to rehab by rihanna , is really a great thing .
i guess that song really reflects on my life recently .
but then again , let bygones be bygones .
im gonna live my everyday life to th extreme fullest . i dont need words to bring me down .
i mould my life so far , so why do you have to judge me ?
move on , brother ((:
when im cleared with th aftermath you left me with , im done with it .

ill be what you though i can never be .
ouh , dont get too tense with what im doing , because thats what you want .
you will be surprise !

thanks [fillintheblank] , family and friends fo the endless motivation .
let time heals everything .

yam and cream roses are beautiful ((:

a woman has strength that amaze men .
she can handle trouble and heavy burdens .
she holds happiness , love and opinions . she smiles when she feels like screaming .
she sings when she feels like crying , cries when she's happy and laughs when she's afraid. her love is unconditional .
there's only one thing wrong with her , she sometimes forgets what she is worth.


Thought of You @9:10 AM

Sunday, December 07, 2008'♥


Thought of You @1:23 PM


as much as i dont feel like blogging , i have to let these feelings out cause im suffocating so much that i hardly breathe .

if you would have understand exactly how i feel , i would be grateful to God because you can think like a normal human beings do . but from th time i get to know you , i start to like you and love you and hate you , you just dont seem to be thankful of what God has given to you .
you took me fo granted , you took my words of anger so seriously that i think you should eat those watery stools of yours . now tell me exactly do you ever wonder how i feel when you were out late at night , living your life to th fullest , when im at home crying like a small kid ? has ever a girl waited fo you at the void deck in the wee hours waiting fo your return ? tell me exactly how you feel when you were in my shoes ? have you ever thought about it ? have all these feelings and actions ever come cross your mind ?
which i dont think so right .
because you were self centred . because you only think about your feelings
because you thought you were always right .
because you thought you spend too much time fo me when you dont .

mane hati dan perasaan kao ?


Thought of You @12:59 PM

Friday, December 05, 2008'♥

lab session with Shida SYG is always fun .
especially when it comes to Chemistry and PCS , we will always go kancong spider .
especially Shida SYG because shes blur . LOL ! (sorry babe , heh )
i look forward to school nowadays because i need good grades .
i told mom about my grade , and she was a lil mad at me .

mom : how can you fail ?
me : because its tough mommy .
mom : even if it is , you still need to put effort on it !
me : yes , i know . but i cant make it for this module .
mom : ~ speechless ~
( im sorry mommy , i dont mean to get that grade & i dont want that grade either . but its just not on my side . i will try harder next time )

credits to that grade , i rushed down to the library after school and started borrowing books yesterday . i really wish that this book will help me . okay , not . i have to help myself too . term break is drawing near , and i really deserve a break & mugging weeks .
FYP coming up soon , and im really not prepared fo it . another commitment , and i have to dwell with managing my time again .

i really need to go out on Saturday now . because sitting at home is not helping me either .
i need to catch up things with my friends and live life to my fullest from all th frenzy activities in school .

i need to cut down on my cigarettes , cause i cant even reach th high notes ! damn

ouh yea people , happy weekends .
starbucks and bowl , anyone ?

[DBF] things are a lil uptight now .
maybe , i think too much on it .
well, lets not bother alright ?


Thought of You @2:28 PM

Thursday, December 04, 2008'♥

i really have no clue as to why im in such a bad state .
well , not to say im having a tiff with anyone , everything is going on perfectly fine .
but im clueless as to what exactly bothers me so much .
that i feel like knocking my head on th wall , turning myself into rock music etc etc .

can someone just tell me whats wrong with me ?
it bothers me , ok not , but i dont know what .
so much i hate being indecisive , it comes and strikes me every now and then .
how irritating can it be right ?
im not having any stand in life , shucks !

& guess what ? my USB cable is dis functioning at all .
i cant pplug in anymore USB . thanks Fujitsu , now you make me travel to you and start pleading to change it fo free . dammit !

and UT grades are out .
chemistry , im happy about it . well , i will not brag .
but PCS , is really saddening . i nvr obtained that GRADE in my whole entire life .
this is degrading me even further .
im left with one more UT , and if i never gonna do it right , thats it .
nurul you are going to retake that module !

lets welcome a new baby girl to my sis family .
well i donno whats her name , but something like nur dania haiza?
a name with a D and a H ?
can anyone think of a nice name ? sister is going to give me a surprise .
i miss these little rascals so much .
see you weekends earthworms ! HEH !

ill update tomorrow ((:


Thought of You @10:29 AM

Tuesday, December 02, 2008'♥

okay this may sound extremely random .
when i thought things is perfectly fine , actually , it is not .
when im high up in th moon , and th next thing i realise , im back in th dark drain .

well , i just dont understand whats happening now .
is it due to no more interest ? that things behave differently now ?
or was it just my exaggerating feelings ? or we have nothing more to share in common ?
but when i come to think about it again , its actually the COMMUNICATION .
theres a communication breakdown between us & im not sure on how to make it better .
lets not put this to a waste , i aint gonna include myself as one of the losers out there .
we seldom meet each other because hes down with diarrhoea .
(i wish i could be there beside you accompanying you, but things are not th same like before)
im gone speechless , but i aint gonna be a quitter and ignore everything .
i will try to work on it . will you be there to play ur part an ill play mine ?

ouh baby , lets compromise
all i need is you and nothing else .

ps : we are not fighting . surrounding change & we wonder why


Thought of You @2:48 PM

Monday, December 01, 2008'♥

yesterday wasnt a great day fo me , at all .
ok not , it is great on th earlier part of th day but not an hour to midnight .
i stayed at home fo almost half of th century (i lied) and im dying of hunger .
met [DBF] though i was a lil bit attitude earlier on .
a hungry woman is an angry woman . LOL !
im sorry yea boyfren .
catch things up with him after not meeting him fo 3 days .
i told about mine while he shared about his .
he is my walking discovery channel , teehee .
got home , do a fast spring cleaning because house was like a sty .
when they got home , i went to th living room and mugged fo UT tomorrow .
since there is so many things & no energy left , i decide to fry an egg .
th first egg , i feel like vomitting . my appetite went down a lil .
because , th chick is on th process of growing in it .
so i can see red2 vessels etcetc . puke !
i withdraw it and throw it away .
den , i wanted to fry a second but first egg fo th meal .
suddenly , th hot oil explode and it got directly on my hand .
to be exact , th whole of my left hand .
i wash it off , still have th chance to turn th egg and fry on th other side .
took colgate and spread it around my affected hand .
i thought it was under control , but i ran to my mom , crying in pain .
it really hurt me .
everyone came up to me and mom put different types of oil on my hand .
my hand was swelling till my neves on th joint turned red .
i prayed hoping that my hand is okay .
i felt dizzy after that , mom asked me to lie down .
went to my room , mom rubbed my hand till i felt asleep .
but i did not have a good rest because my hand was soaring badly through th night .


Thought of You @8:56 AM


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A Year older on 1010
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