Sunday, January 31, 2010'♥
YES ARGH. AFTER MUCH OF DEPRESSION.
I GUESS IT'S TIME TO GO OUT.
AND GO FOR ARETAIL THERAPY!
Saturday, January 30, 2010'♥
My family over at JB was very concerned about me and why I did not go back home. Well, I am physically fine but I'm mentally exhausted and I refused to move a bit. I was tensed over certain issues especially my future. I SO DON'T WANT TO GRADUATE! I'm going to miss my friends (for sure!) and I don't know what God has in store for me. I hope it is a good one. I have not discussed with mother about me pursuing my studies and I hope to meet her soon enough. I have yet to settle a lot of things now, everything came right at my face, all in once, leaving me suffocated. Thank you eh. I got no time to waste lah please! Let me settle these one at a time. I'm not a pakar okay.
I love this picture, certainly!
Something is not right with me, I have yet to go for a checkup soon. This is not right, and freak the hell out of me lah please. I don't know what to do. Urgh, bosan lah!
My last paper falls on 10th Ferbruary! Tak sabar dong.
Okay post mcm biase, no objective lah. Because I am in a fucking pain I tell you. Not funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Friday, January 29, 2010'♥
I don't know if I can yell any louder
How many times have I kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting?
Da da da da-da
I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
When my heart is
Da da da-da da
Please don't leave me
Please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me
How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I've never been this nasty
Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest
But baby I don't mean it
I mean it, I promise
Da da da-da da
Please don't leave me
Please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me
I forgot to say out loud
How beautiful you really are to me
I can't be without
You're my perfect little punching bag
And I need you
hope you get me now.
Labels: please don't leave me
Thursday, January 28, 2010'♥
OMG! I really stress like that. I so bingit and stress on the later part of the day.
First, I don't know why FYP grade has been given a grade review again. And guess what? I got B. When before that I obtained a B+. That makes a lot of difference lor in my GPA. (well, actually, I don't know) LOL.
Then next thing. I want to apply for a private study in UniSIM but the requirements are must be 21 years and above, and I need to have at least a 2 years of working experience or is currently in a full-time job. Then now, I don't know what to do. I can't even get a full-time job because I have yet to graduate, have yet to find a full-time job. URGH. and what hinders me is Korea. Damn. Nevermind, the only alternative will be is to take for a January intake then. Aiya, tapi takut dah kerja malas nak skola pulak. Mcm mane ni nyonyaaaaaaa?
Labels: pening kepale
Wednesday, January 27, 2010'♥
Hello Wet-nurse Day. (LOL! mimi taught me this) I am the survivor for today's lesson. Others are losers! Mimi is on her way to school. She is my savior lah. If not I berjuang
for Patient Care alone. But nevermind, I will try my best in killing today's module.
Ouh, laptop is sulking again. I don't know what is wrong, merajok
with me I think. I need this laptop for another 2 weeks. I need your co-operation baby.
Talking about school, I'm left with few more lessons to go. Yes, I am happy to graduate, but on the other hand, it is sad when I have to bid goodbye to all my friends. Well, they have been there for me, throughout my existence in RP and we grow together. We had little arguments this and that, but that never fail our friendship. I love having them around me, I feel like a carefree. This is the time where I will know my destiny. This is hard because responsibility is now in my hands. I want to be a kid, where I just have to go to school and have fun. But this is life, I have to go on. Nonetheless, I will never forget them and will try my very best to keep in touch without considering destination as a factor.
And this is extremely cute to me. What more can I ask for, right?
Labels: It is annoying.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010'♥
IM SO SORRY FOR ABANDON-ING MY BLOG. BEEN BUSY AND I WILL BE BACK SOON LOVELIES! :)
Labels: I LOVE YOU ALL
Sunday, January 24, 2010'♥
I don't know what is wrong with me. I don't feel good today. I sulk since the time when I wake up early in the morning. I had a terrible dream last night, and I really could not even remember what I have dreamt about. Astaghfirullah'alazim. I cried when I was concious, and I cried terribly even at this moment. I just don't understand why am I hiding all my feelings inside me. I don't share, I keep things, everything to myself. Because I may hurt anyone and I don't need any disputes to occur. So please, respect me. I need some time alone.
I am not referring what's below to anyone. So please, stop asking me like as if you deserve a place here. Well, this is something random, it just comes by, and I feel like talking about it.
I am always trying my best to be nice to everyone, but I wonder, why do I get all these in return? Why do people have to stab me right from the back when I am nice in the first place to these humans? They are just so unappreciative and tend to take things for granted. That sucks because you are being judgemental towards me. But that is okay, because this is what they call it life. We can't shut someone's mouth but all we have to do is to just bear with the pain. I am fine, and I will always suck it in. But everyone has limits to their patience, and if you go overboard, I'm going to cut you into pieces.
Back to reality, I am in a depression mode. A bad disorder. I mean it. I ain't kidding. I need people around me to support me, because I can feel my personality is shrinking and I get to see myself being an introvert nowadays. I need people around me so that I can build up on myself again.
Labels: depression mode
Saturday, January 23, 2010'♥
I don't know what the F I blog about in the previous post. I was bored, and I am not in the right mood at all. I just don't know why I feel this way and nothing happened. I dare not put too much clues in here.
I have a short term memory. Whenever I have the urge to blog, I actually plan on what to mention in here, but when I started logging in kan, suddenly all my brain juice goes dry. Tak annoying? All the ideas don't know go where.
Abeh kalao aku perangai PMS? Tak payah nak excited lah please. I got so mad that I started to scold people around me. Someone with the white ribbons this and that. Yes, I know but you don't have to repeat every single minute what. Jakon kenape? I am not trying to pick a fight with everyone, but someone make me go mad, for no reasons.
Labels: geram gile
I guess it will take centuries for the picture to be uploaded. So sickening, I tell you. I know blog is dead, and I have no more pictures to share with you. The fact is there are pictures to share but they are all on my FB so got no time. Sommore, the blogger's uploader is not doing any help, so no pictures to share here.
And yes, been very busy studying for the last two weeks, so there goes the lack of pictures here. I will be having a DMTS photoshoot this Monday, in the afternoon and I really don't have any idea on what to wear. Alahhh, macam2. please excuse me for the lack of updates. Prolly, I'll be back after 10 February. Give me some time yeahhhhh.
Labels: oh so sorry
Thursday, January 21, 2010'♥
There is something that blocks my hearing, and it is so irritating and annoying!
I am so on today. Like that's so unlikely of me.
School in two weeks! Counting down.
Baby A; where are you?
Wednesday, January 20, 2010'♥
When my aunty fetched me, she told me that my brother goes back to Singapore to get his things settled. And potong steam lah. Because I am so looking forward to go home, sekali berangan seh. So now, I am blogging and after which I am going to study while waiting for my brother to get back home. Because he told his kids that he is going to bring us all out for dinner or something. I am considering whether to have dinner at home, because mom cooks lovely food today. And it is soooooo temptinggg to eat. So much of controlling my diet. I am waiting for love to go online. Because I am so bored. Okay stop here, I have so many because like that. bye.
Labels: boring dehhh
Picture of the month! I don't why I love this picture so much. It look so classic to me, though. (okay, what a reason) Well, there's nothing much to talk here. But I gotta rush back home later. Because brother is over there, along with all the kids. So, I'm going to occupy my time catching things up with them.
So far, my life is gooood. Anyways, I'm falling in love with Pink's song. People may say, " that's so not you, nurul" but I love the lyrics and thus that makes me fall in love with the song. Its called, Please Don't Leave Me.
And to my lovely Baby A, no matter what you choose for your future, I won't go against your decision. I will always be here, supporting you right from the back. I will advice and give you my suggestion, if you need it. I'm gonna be there for you, because you are my heart and soul. It's time to mould the future baby. I love you, always!my momma told me not to lose you ((:
Labels: because i love you
Tuesday, January 19, 2010'♥
I am so jealous over the fact that Love is puffing away his sempornea (I don't know if I spell it correctly) and here I am blogging nothing but nuts. Well, I have been forcing myself to school and this is the biggest challenge to me, dragging my feet to school even though I am left with 3 more weeks. And I am done with education, like seriously! But somehow, even if I'm still not done yet with it now, I could feel myself missing writing down notes and everything, the feeling of being kanchiong spider whenever UT is around the corner (LIKE NOW!) etc etc. I wonder what God has in store for me in the future. I make a list on what to do and I hope I can achieve it.
These days, I am really tired with everything. Well, I admitted for being more reserved in class and whenever I am around with my bitches. I don't behave like myself. Yes, everything seems not right to me, especially with my family. But I hope everything will go on smoothly and I will endure this till my very last breath.
I think menses is coming. That's why. I am really sorry if I just cant be bothered or dont talk much. I'll be like myself soon, with God's willing.
I don't wanna type much here. Hope things are better tomorrow. Wednesday is so boring, so another one hell of a __________________ day.
Labels: and im so sorry
Monday, January 18, 2010'♥
I FEEL SO SICK. BEEN HAVNG A BAD DRY COUGH, LIKE JANTAN YOU KNOW. SOMEHOW, IT COME ACROSS MY MIND TO QUIT SMOKING. DAMMIT. WHICH I REALLY WANT TO BUT CAN NEVER ACHIEVE ON IT. AND NOW, IM LOSING MY VOICE, SLOWLY. HOW TO PRESENT? AIYAAAA, NYONYA, TOLONG GUE DONGGGGGGGGGGGG.
Labels: go away, sick
Saturday, January 16, 2010'♥
I guess I am having a hard time juggling with my emotions. Well, not many people know about it; only the ones whom I am close with. Well, I am ecstatic and forlorn at the same time. All these mixed feelings bother me so much, that I need to go to an open sea, and shout my lungs out. I really need a break; I want to be problem-free. Well, I do not have any problems in the first place, but people's problems are affecting me. Why do they have to suffer? I mean, we can never run away from problems, but I see people behaving cowardly and never want to talk things out at all. They would rather have tense emotions with each other rather than living happily ever after. Bodoh eh orang like that, duduk gua lagi bagus tao.
Oh, OSC is getting on my nerves. I was required to submit important documents on last Monday which I have already submitted. (I have my friends as witness) But then, I received a dozen of missed calls from the facilitator and a message which states that I need to submit it ASAP. I was so pissed off, I tell you. They can't even get the most simplest things done, and get me to come down again just to submit the same old documents. I understand you humans handling different types of issues at the same time. But where are your efficiency? You can't even get two A4 size paper, slit in between the file and submit it to the facilitator? What have you guys been doing? And please, it isn't a paper that wrote I LOVE YOU in it alright but there inside, it states all my personal particulars as well as money issues. I can submit the same second documents and get money deducted twice, you know. Use your brain lahhhhhhh. You are lucky enough that you made a mistake to a student, if it happens to an arrogant visitor, be prepared to get your head chop off your body.
I tell you, my type of person. I can get stress up about all the smallest thing, even on what food to eat.
Friday, January 15, 2010'♥
I'll just do what I am supposed to do here. I am badly affected with everything that surrounds me. My mind is never at ease, at any point of time. I feel like everything come crashing down on me, and even if you tried your best to make me laugh, and you succeed in it, nothing will work out for me. I may be seen smiling, laughing my ass off, but deep down in my heart, I am all over the places. I have shattered heart and I need my only effort to put the pieces back together. I have a lot of problems and all I could do is to solve them one by one. And I'm going to do what's best so that both party will be happy, together. I will always try to be nice and not be self-centered. I'll put others before myself, where possible. I just need the reunion; I guess that will be the greatest moment in my life that I will never forget till my very last breath.
Lewis Hamilton and nicole decided to call an end to their 2 years relationship. That's not a good news to me though because they look perfectly together. Well, here's the lesson: sometimes in life, we can never have everything that we want. Sometimes, we have to sacrifice the love we had for someone to let him/her be happy. But when you still have the strength and effort, try working on it, amend what should be done and try to save it. If not, its the end of the chapter. Time to open up a new book.
On a lighter note, I passed my G302 FYP II. A B+ again, alhamdulillah, thank you, Allah. Thank you so much lovely humans who have been there, giving me the undying spirit to move on with life. You guys have been the greatest human, and I really do not know how to repay your deeds, and I'm sure God will give you the reward.Thank you so much for being there, when I am all in need. Thank you for the advices and opinion, I appreciate it.
Labels: you took my heart away
Thursday, January 14, 2010'♥
This picture was taken in KL few years back.
Well, tomorrow is my brother's birthday. And obviously, I didn't buy him anything. Well, I'm not being stingy but the fact is that I can't even get through him, and what's more with meeting him up? If I ever get the chance to meet him tomorrow, I'd straight away queue at Singapore pools and purchase a no., I tell you. Well, a lot of things have changed, but I don't know how to put all these in words. Well, we need to move on, put all those stupid unnecessary things behind, over your shoulder and live your life to the fullest. What's there to think when people around you don't give a damn about it. I guess mom has been thinking about it more than I did. Don't kill your brain cells mommy, lets get over it, especially for someone who don't appreciate you and cherish you as a mother. move on and fuck it, like I've said.
On the other hand, I miss him. Yes, I am contradicting myself with what I have just said above. But I really miss him. Come on, if i don't miss my brother, then Im not a human. Hope things will go well. What more can I do. I guess I have put my effort in doing everything that I could, but since it turns futile, I am not giving up but just putting matters to rest.
Tomorrow is BTT. break lose, hope I can do it. Wish me luck babiess!
Labels: brother brother
I dont know what the hell is wrong with the mixpod. Ive been changing to few songs but still, it does not start playing when I have loaded my blog. Gasak lah noh. Naik malas.
Just came back from doctor. And I've obtained a day of MC. So yeah, need a lot of rest now.
And KL, lets make it happen alright. I miss my bitches, hunks and love especially.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010'♥
I'm having a bad running nose. I keep on sneezing badly in class. Paracetamol did not help me in anyways, but worsen the sickness.pfft!I thought of skipping today's lesson, but since I has skipped last week, I have no other choice but to attend today's lesson. I am like a zombie and the lesson is -__________________-. but nevermind, I will try my best to stay focus and pull through the lesson. And And And, I cough like anjing in class.
On a lighter note, I obtained Bs' for all the modules. I is happy gile babi nak mampos! okay, I'm not bragging but sharing. Because I never had such grades before. But then kan, I think I'm going to flung badly for my UT2 over the fact that I did not do any revision. Just read blindly. Damn, I am so going to prepare for UT3, if there is sufficient time. I love procrastinating!
Okay lah, bye.
Monday, January 11, 2010'♥
Mom came to Singapore along with my sister's family to help me in finance. She passed me 2K today to pay 1K for my Korea trip and another 1K for my car license. yipedddoooooo~! And she helped me with settling my 2 months bill. Yes, I may sound like a spoilt brat and the fact that I should be doing a part time job but then, I can't afford to do so, because I am so tight up with other commitments. Maybe I'll consider getting a part-time job once I am officially done with my lessons and last UT. So while waiting for Korea, I can do something which is beneficial for me. I need to build up on my CPF and POSB account lah please.
Mom asked me along to Kelantan, Terengganu on 14-17th March. And I'm still cosidering whether to go or not. Because I am trying my best to obtain IT before I fly off to Korea. But it sounds great to me because March seems like a holiday month! I really need a gateway this time, for reall. Batam is another hot place, because I need to go on a body massage. I guess all my nerves got KUSUT everywhere. And dirt ride seems wonderful.
I want tent-pitching during the weekend with love. OR maybe flying kite at Barrage. Sounds like 'GO GET A LIFE YOU BITCH!' but what makes you think I give a damn about what you say? It seems fun to me though, doing something which I have not been doing. Well, at least I move on with life rather than sitting at Taka every Saturday right? Itu lagi takde life okay. Better get a punch card and get self-employed as a security guard there. Oklah byebye.
Love, thank you so much for fetching me though you are late. I had a great time with you. More to come and I shall see you soon!
I wanted to study for my Patient Care cause UT is tomorrow, but too bad, I sneeze badly now that I think I need to rest badly before it gets any worsen.
I've changed my blogskin. It's a great achievement to me, because I've been trying to juggle my time altering the codes here and there, and when I am halfway done, I will not save it and straight away ignore it. This time round, I put aside my time and have the sheer determination in changing. But but but, I was too busy amending my codes till I neglected my studies. No good. Tomorrow is my last UT 2 and I am done! waiting for the final UTs for all the exams.
I have to rush down to BBDC later. Whupidoo. Love is fetching me. I is happy. :)
Labels: sanggop eh
Sunday, January 10, 2010'♥
whenever I want to do update right, always got problem you know.
I have just realized that all the pictures are inside my HDD and Ive just reformatted my laptop.
Then, I lazy already. Thanks ehhh!
Labels: annoying lahhhh
I am now at Autobacs accompanying my sister and bro-in-law to get new tyres for Avante.
Gosh, what stress my sister and myself the most is that we are not able to smoke with a sense of freedom, because my auntie tagged along. -..-
Happi 3 years to my blog. And happy 16th to baby A.
I appreciate everything that you have done for me. Thank you so much.
You have been wonderful these days.
And let me tell you this; I am all over the mountain and I am so proud of you baby.
More to come okay? I love you so much baby.
From the bottom of my heart.
We really had a wonderful time together, right?
And though you will be out there, busy working. I will play my part by understanduing you in every ways darling.
What else? Oh, I am down with a month to graduation! After which, I am going to chi-ong all the way for my practical and hopefully I can get it done by March or April and latest, May.
And then,I am going to find a part-time job while waiting for my certificate. Have yet to update my resume. And Korea in two months time with my Mell baby! And maybe pursuing a part-time/private degree when I am all stable. This time, I will fork out my money myself because I never wanna use Mom's money anymore. And I guess I am big enough to be all independent and not depend on anyone, as far as possible.
Okay, what else? I am really going to spend the rest of my weekdays with my babies before graduation. Will cherish the last few moments together?
What about karaoke next week?
I miss Shida and Sri Cempaka together with us.
And yes, got this bloody Rikishi stare at me. What the hell? I swear you need to scrub your ass with berus dawai lah please, not forgetting your face alright. You are truly sickening bloody idiotic scumbag, I tell you. And early in the morning, I went for my first practical but before that I accompanied Iffa Q. for the enrolment, and yah, like me for the very first time, she is like a super bimbo. LOL! But still, it turned out smoothly and I am happy for her too. After months of not meeting her up, like finally!
I guess i am done here. Will be back for more updates. I know my blog is lacking of pictures. Too much words seems boring to me and I guess for everyone too. And so, I will try my best to put aside an hour or so, to upload pictures and share with you people. Got to go!
Labels: Everything has been working perfectly fine
Thursday, January 07, 2010'♥
I always want to blog but I never had the chance to do so.
I'm back in school, so that may explains my absence.
I will really try my best to work this out, because the nos. of readers are decreasing.
Well, busy woman.
I will share with you people on where I have been going.
Only when I am really free.
I am having UTs this week and next week.
Please understand and excuse me, thank you.
Terima kasih atas kerjasama anda. LOL!
And nothing else matters.
I miss you, love.
A whole new life, for the both of us.
But we will try hard, to pull it through alright.
I'm hanging on there.
Prolly fly kite soon! nyehehehehe
Labels: a new life to adapt to
Saturday, January 02, 2010'♥
Bill Kaulitz is my current addiction. Okay, I know, I am kental, but who cares. He is cute and adorable. Though people say he looks like a transvestite, I don't give a damn about that. He still look cute in my eyes though. And his hair is way way so cool. OMG!
On a super crazy lighter note, I would like to wish everyone happy 2010! Hope you people have a great year ahead of you. And, yes, me and love came up with this. 2010 logo. okay we are lame, and we are boring people, so we did that. heh hehs. okay bye bye!
Labels: merepek nye gue ni.