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Friday, September 28, 2007'♥

i have tons of questions with a why at the front in my head right now.
and i dont wish to list it down in my blogg or tell anyone about it.
i am so depressed with what i am facing right now.
tell me why do i deserve to stay in a place called Earth?
and why do i have to face all the pain?

all my friends, they are no longer by my side.
i am thankful with some of my friends who still asked me out though things have changed along the way.
and our friendship was left hanging.
i know i shouldnt ask for more.
well, at the list, they did not forget me :)

boifie, thanks for the 4 days of fighting.
it makes me have a stronger character.
and also an apologised to you for hurting you all these while.
well, a new chapter has begun; chapter 10.
may it be a memorable month for us okei?
less fight cause i cant take it when we both are ego!
we are both sick and tired of fighting.
so please, you do your part and i do mine oke?
remember what ive said to you ok?
wait for wad? work it out la. hehe :)

i hate staeing at home!
i cant tolerate people who take people things without out permission
especially when we are dealing with money.
i dont tolerate all that! so please. you will get it.
10 dollars = 10 punches on your face okei?
i hate you!
omg! how am i suppose to trust you again this time around?
i dont care even if we both were flesh and blood.
cause they deserved to be punished!
dont tell me when someone do wrong, you just smile right?

ok
enough of all the heart pains!
i want the happiness in life now
i mean now!
FUCK

Thought of You @9:47 PM



'♥

its almost 2 weeks of fasting.
and i dont think im reducing ani of my weight
depression kills during this month.
and i cant do nothing but just chill down.
i know i dont earn a penny if i were to shout at you
but im earning some 'sin' you see.
and its all because of you people who messed with me.
and im down with the killing of brain cells.

so people treat me good or you'll get it man!

im in no mood to post because things were not great this week.

all i can say is happi belated 10 month-sarry to you ais.
i appreciate your stay..

so staying at home everyday isnt a good idea.
STRESS AND MORE STRESS!!!
chaos home.
with 6 nephews at home and i keep on shouting my lungs out.
i couldnt even breathe some fresh air outside.
damn
things better be good..

im down with depression right now.



Thought of You @6:43 PM



Friday, September 21, 2007'♥

updates people!

well, as you can see, i have changed my blogskins.
mainly, the previous blogskins appear to be dull.
so wanting to invite more people to my blog! YAY :)
nothing much since schools start.

a big thank you to SIQ because he appears to be the firestater and only then the class start talking to each other.
the class is no longer quiet only that we are serious during lessons.

monday : dispute with him. i end up at home
tuesday : we bought munchy donut for break fast.
wednesday: he fetched me from school and meet my brother at burger king. again we bought munchy donut and he went to my house. a great day!
thursday : woke up late and did not go to school. stuck at home the whole day!
friday : im in skool right now. and mitting him later. break fast at coswae! i want ikan pari bakar okei? YAY!

problems again! i love you but you have gone too far. to pull you back into the right path it is not easy. you need some time and sense of maturity. ill have to help my brother. and hell yes! i will do it! and im so in love with home.

baby, those night conversations were so sweet. your voice. your words. they make me wana stae with you forever. i hope my wish came thru with GOD's willing.

and to you people, tc!
YANA I MISH YOU!
and happi weekends! :)

Thought of You @9:27 AM



Monday, September 17, 2007'♥

school starts today and its killing me.
i couldnt wake up in the morning yet i dragged my feets to the bathroom.
get myself all well dressed up and i meet my dearly yana at the usual place.
well, i have to say that i mish her alot.
now that we are separated, we could no longer share our secrets and common interests.
no more new songs from her, no more eating meals with her despite the fasting month.
we can only meet like 1/2 hour a day and during replug only when both agree to go. :)
well, im going to mish those times. but i have to move on.
despite all that happened, i regard it as the ups and downs of my life.

i make new friends with my team mates.
i could see smiles written all over their faces.
they are friendly, i must say. they introduced themselves.
and we laugh at the same jokes.
aniwae, it was great.
luckily jennifer [mimi's classmates] is in the same class as me.
at least i can talk to her though when necessary.
there are a total of 7 malays in the same class but i didnt noe them all.
hope to noe them one day :)

presentation sucks.
i stuttered throughout the explanations.
and thank GOD my facilitator halt me by discussing with the class about the points brought up.
you saved me DANNY.

YESTERDAY
i didnt enjoy my weekends due to the fasting month.
no more towning slacking and spending time with my loved ones.
aniwaes, my brother and his family shifted to my house.
and hell yes! i am SO SO esctatic.
i have friends to talk to and someone to study with.
no matter wad, baby you are never forgotten okei?
and yes; he helped my family with the shoving things from woodlands to jurong.
and he had his night at my house.
it was a splendid time with him.
after two days of not meeting up.
and i owe him a treat!
bb, johor okei?
and yesterday night on the phone was the sweetest thing.
we chatted for awhile and he was so sweet.
i dont want to ask for more, well, you made my day dear ais :)


and ya.
im lost right now.
im in no good terms with him.
hoping things to be just the way it is.
i never want to let him go. i love him so.
and yea, i hope wad you dreamt was just a dream.
i dont want it to happen in reality and neither do i wish to betray you sweetheart.
you're my soul that keeps me breathing.
about the geylang tingy, i am sorry.
i noe i am so ego and too emotional.
and sory for saying bodo to you though i didnt mean to.
well, i admit i am an attention seeker.
commitments; wad can you say?
lets forgive and forget like you always say?
we shall never brood about small matters.

promise me you wont let me go dear?

this heart; it beats, beats for only you :)center>


Thought of You @9:09 PM



Friday, September 14, 2007'♥

school's gonna start in two days time. i have to make new friends and adapt to new environment.
another 16 weeks and i have to endure with this school's system.
fixed time table and problem based learning.
i MUST say i prefer the old way of learning because what im learning now, things doesnt get into my head. and the next thing i knew, im having UT test. damn.
well, for the sake of diploma, what more can i say.
today is the second day of fasting month.
it seems so bored this few days. im stucked at home for two days including today.
well, trying y best to love home and study here, but too many temptations.
and what do i do now? waste my time again and again.
well, i kinda feel stupid cause im revealing my weaknesses but who cares? do you care?
nahh, i dont think so.

sorri people for not updating the past few days.
last week was a total chaos. W14K pit. it was awesome! im loving it.:)
but said to say, that will be the last time we are going to have fun together as a whole.
and quite a number didnt turn up. they paid yet didnt turn up.
i was forlorn but its okei.

the day before fasting.
me and him went to vivocity to window-shopped.
his dad's berfdae! so yeah, HAPI BERFDAE!
we cam-whored, [yelah, hp baru la katekan. LOL!]
it was so GEREK GEREK GEREK.


and yea, i want to meet up with my peeps. there are tons of things we need to catch up especially my secondary school mates.
hafiz and all. well, ill try to squeeze in some time for them.
im busy currently, and if i didnt entertain you guys, i am so sorry.
preparing for my upcoming O levels.
well, i have to start loving home. haiz.

well, i just cant seem to understand with my own feelings.
i dont know why i am sad right now.
why i am in no mood.
brooding over small things, haiz.
i can only keep quiet. i dont want to be rude and i dont want to hurt anibody's feelings.
get this straight in you people head.
i hate quarelling! i want happiness and tons of happiness!
please!

here are the pics taken. enjoy :)

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Thought of You @3:06 PM



Tuesday, September 04, 2007'♥

I shared things about him to my auntie. And my auntie was looking forward in meeting him. So mom cooked MEE SOTO and he came along. We had our lunch together. What is weird about my auntie was that, she smiled and went into the room. What is there to be shy about; I wonder. We went out to watch movies but the movie is not played in certain outlet. So, we went to west mall to buy hand phone. But there is none and I never gave up ok?


Next up, we went to Jurong East. We bought hand phone for the both of us. What a day! We get to talk to each other on the phone after so long. We bought Sony Ericsson K618i. We had a long conversation that very night. And both the phone cost a total of $189.50.

Thanks to you my sweet love. Hope that makes your day too. And please, reduce the fights okei?


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Thought of You @2:59 PM



'♥

My 18th birthday was awesome! Thanks to him who brought me out and made my day though something happened at the very last minute. Nonetheless, I am never disappointed about it, I understand you baby. Life was filled with surprises! I really appreciate it a lot.


Well, here are list of people who wishes me on my birthday.
MY BABY! YAY! :)
1] KIP
2]HAFIZ
3]RAIDAH
4]ZUL
5]QAIYUM
6]LYANA
7]FAIZAH & PIAN
8] SAFARI
9]MY AUNTIE
10]MY MOMMY
11] ATHIRAH BAI

At 12 midnight, I was at the void deck loitering around with my best friend and her boy friend. And I was forfeited during my birthday. I was told to eat a ‘PAPADAM’ with iced tea. How gross can that be? I went home and my baby gets rather worried about it. We have been quarreling over small matters and I blurted everything out to him and wanted him to let go off me. In which, after that I fully regretted for my words and the fact is that I still love him and forever will. But things were ok. I was happy and he decided to bring me out.

He fetched me at the void deck. We wore black and white. Thanks to the black-dotted dress. He spent a totally of $40 for the dress and the ¾ leggings. Next, he hand me over a paper bag containing present. And on that very spot, I was so so ecstatic and I hugged him tight in my arms. I opened up the present and it was an ADIDAS watch. Moreover, he bought for me my favourite colour; WHITE! He wore it for me and I was so overjoyed by that.

Next, he brought me to town. We had our late lunch at SAKURA located at Far East. We had, two plain rice, fried baby squid, sweet and sour fish and SAMBAL KANGKONG. Thanks, I was full by then.

We window-shopped and spent our time together. It was so long since we last smile to each other, look into each other eyes, holding me in his hands.

We bought tickets but he needed to go back home early due to some circumstances. And we gave up watching movies and headed back home. I cried in the train without reasons. After much explaining, he understood me. Thanks baby. He called me when I was home, and he was rather disappointed by my lies. I am sorry.


berfdae card
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The ADIDAS watch

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Thought of You @2:36 PM







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YoursTrulyy,

NURUL SHAHEDA
Republic Polytechnic
Dip. Material Science
A year older on 2508
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Hamirul Hasraff
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