Sunday, August 16, 2009'♥
pardon me fo this is going to be th most so-not-me post.
but i have to let this out because it is killing me.
i hope that the person whom i dedicated this post to, will actually read and really understand every single feelings that lingers in my heart.
i couldnt alter my ego like you can, because im a virgo.
i have th weakest feeling among all; too much sorrows.
i may look strong, happy physically, but im really ill on th inside.
i wonder what is th root cause of us fighting again this time, i wonder where have i gone wrong. i wanted to be there fo you, but how could i when i have other things to attend to. you always wanted your days with your bf, and i never wanna disturb you because i want you to be happy. i wanted to be there too, you can ask your bf if you need evidence.
everytime, at th void deck, i would ask, 'mane mataer kao?'
if you are not someone whom i missed, i wouldnt bother to ask you.
what makes you think im so judgmental. th fact is im not. im just being upfront to you. but you cant accept th feedback.
you used to tell me, 'i want you to let me know how you feel.' and i let it clear out to you. so which part do you not understand me? i am so confused with what you want.
losing a bestfriend, is never a wishlist fo anyone who exist in this world.
what makes you think i love losing you?
i appreciate you in every way.
from coming to my house to wake me up.
when you fetched me from school.
you were there fo me when im really in deep shit, fo almost everyday.
so what makes you think you are not perfect? do you lose so much fo being nice to someone?
th time when we had breakfast cum lunch at aliff (BG)
th love you made out of a ticket and you present to me.
everything.
now tell me how to move on? i thought you are someone who is soft at heart. who is willing to accept feedbacks. but this is no longer you whom i have known. you are so different now.
i cried whenever we fight, because i hate losing a friend. i hate that so much. im willing to go low to th extend of begging on my knees not to lose you.
why must you leave me and leave my world so cold?
remember we vowed, to stay together no matter what?
you wanted me to vow to you even though things end between you and your bf.
and im still here, fo you.
why must you choose to separate us?
im crying right now as im typing this down.
i have your picture with me, in my purse, you knew it yourself.
since i didnt get to talk or even meet you is something impossible now,
i will look up at your picture and say,'i miss you jaja.'
i really never want to lose you.
i love you like my sister, my bestfriend, my mother my everything.
its you, Siti Hajar.
im waiting, praying, that things will get better each day.
amin.
Labels: sorrow and forlorn
Thought of You @3:00 PM
