so how was my night yesterday ?
i met him at 2030 hrs and accompanied him to wash his bike near our estates .
everything goes on perfectly smooth like a silk .
i helped him wax his bike , i had a great time helping him after so long of not doing it .
i couldnt even recall th last time i waxed his bike .
we had our late dinner together .
i had kueh teow soup whereas he had chicken cube with rice .
sat at our favourite place and eat .
places where we sat and talked again after so long .
flashback flashback .
then he checked my phone , and he remain silent .
i dont know if i do something wrong .
but then , he was different in msgs and even today .
where have i gone wrong ?
i need some words from you ; please dont hush .

and im not feeling good these days .
i dont know if th pills could have been th cause to my drowsiness .
i couldnt sit/squat or lie down fo too long ; because th next thing when i try to walk .
th pain will strike my head that i can just shut off in a snap .
but i really try very hard to fight th pain .
and it doesnt only happened once a day .
but at least 10 times a day . i wonder what th hell is wrong now .
and i feel like vommiting while eating .
symptoms of depression ?
i can feel that im losing weight now .
i cant remain this way , id rather let God take my life away .

why do i have to face suc consequences ?
why does this happen to me ?
why is life so unfair ?
where have i gone wrong till i have to face all these ?

i slept late every night .
i guess im not looking forward to school .
and i dont think i will be coming if this is still going on th same .
fuck it , i wanna kill myself .