and yes , this will be my third post of th day .
well , you see , rotting at home is not helping me at all .
because i really dont know what to do at home .
trying to keep myself busy but i cant do it now .
and yes , i miss him badly enough .
i wonder what is he doing now .

i know somehow , one day you will read my blog .
im sorry to be such an emo right now but i just couldnt help it .
i need to pour this out , and let you know everything .
whatever that has already happened between us , especially th downfall ;
i have forgotten everything about it .
i miss th old you , very much .
i wish you could be like before .
when i read th earliest entry about you and me in august , i teared badly .
because you were th most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me .
and i never wanna let it fade away or stop just like that .
i want to count my days with you , count on th hours we have spent fo each other .
i cant bear to lose you , thats it .
because you are my first love , and i have gone through a lot with you .
we faced all th obstacles together , we fought terribly .
but then , it got us closer .
maybe God wana test how strong can our love be .
is th love dead and gone ? well , i dont think so .
i dont mind taking it slow at all , but all i ever needed is your motivation darling .
thats it , i need you , i really do , i swear i do .
let bygones be bygones .
please , lets make it up together .
lets not let th past haunt us down .
whats done is done , both were hurt at th same time .
you had your flaws i had mine .
lets make up fo everything , especially healing both our heart .
im sure you can do it . please dont give up and have faith in yourself .
everything that we have been dwelling about , watever that came out from my mouth is true enough .
its really saddening when you uttered such words when you are mad .
you kept me thinking whether you really mean it or not at all .
im always here waiting fo your call , i misss you , ya allah .
please , trust me , i wanna change . and i want you to change too .
please dont end it this way . it was so wonderful th last two days .
why does it drastically change within a few hours ?
i thought we both have promises fo each other .
and im still holding on to it .
so please hamirul , call me .
because i miss you alot .
really .
and i love you
i swear i love you .
and i never love anyone like i love you before .
sumpah . sungguh , aku tak tipu .