a lil update about my life .
im unsure over certain things , but i hope this heart will heal soon .
i have a lot of issues that i really need to put a lot of commitments on .
family , friends , loved ones , school , tutoring .
i really need to find a suitable job fo myself . even if i dont get a job to kill those weekdays , i need it to kill my holidays . i know and i just cant stay at home and rot till school reopens .
school holidays = no allowance
ouh , i really need to do something about myself .
thanks to th people who have been there fo me ; supporting and motivating me .
you guys keep me going . i appreciate that , i love you guys ((:

& this post goes out specially fo you babe . well , thats my main objective fo today .

i know that things are gettting crucial between us & its not hard only on you , but me too . i know i have been neglecting , i know things now isnt like how it used to be . i know i have changed to someone who you thought i never be , i know you are a lil disappointed about it .
when everytime , its you whom i always turn myself into when i need someone . but now , i just keep myself quiet and not give you a call or anything . yes , im finding my way through everything , a step at a time .
& seriously , even th little misunderstandings that we had , that doesnt even make me wanna give up on you or just walk away from it . because i know , we somehow have to face and feel it one day . th fights that we had makes me wanna get closer to you .

i lost my GFs fo umpteenth times and im really sick and tired of it . i hate it when we just bid goodbye when they are already a part of my life . i dont want to make distance as a factor of me not getting closer to you , cause there are other means to reach out to you .

and im really afraid of losing you , GF . i dont need to widen my circle of GFs when they arent actually true on me . having GFs like you makes my whole world complete .

if you were to go and give up on me one day , i will beg on your knees and give you thousands of reasons fo you to stay . please , i never felt this way before . i never made such a confession to a GF before . i aint a lesbian but throughout th obstacles i faced with my other never-lasting GF , i guess i meet th perfect GF now & thats you , NOORILYANA BTE NOORESANI .
im sorry , so so sorry fo hurting & neglecting you . ill try not to do it again .
despite all that happens , thanks fo th sound advice and stand by my side . i appreciate it alot .
please , dont give up on what we had built up in th past . lets keep building it . though 1 yr 6 months of friendship is short , i never wanna put it to a stop . i look forward on every single day , weeks , month and years to come & that is to count on our friendship .