let's not talk about relationship , AGAIN .

i have been thinking a lot lately ; life , future , freedom , relationship , friendships , family .
i know things happen for a reason , but some things are so absurd that they can be such a pain in my ass . it's really disappointing when one just keep mentioning , emphasising your mistakes , when he/she knows that both were at fault . but when it comes to me admiting and yet mentioning his/her mistakes , they won't admit and walked off . see , how am i suppose to get things done here ? you know , i am so so so tired of playing chasing games , because i have been doing it and you seem to like it so much . look , i may get tired one day . and yes , i am tired today , really , so much that it hurts me whenever you call and talk to me nicely .

yes , i admit that i'm still not over the fights that we had . ill be rude to you , because you taught me to do it . i have not been behaving these way , i admit it when you said that . but you keep on doing that to me , rude to me , shout over the phone when back then , i talked to you nicely , crying on the phone . so much from you right ? so who am i suppose to blame now ? myself ? thats ridiculous !

you see , when i am here trying to settle things down , you keep on mentioning my past ? why does it bother you so much ? why why why ? look , if you are here to degrade me further , be gone . i had the wrong perception about you all these while. when i thought you will help to bring me up again , lighten up my life , but now , you prove me wrong . so so wrong .
enough said . if you are here to give me a sarcastic remarks , paste it .
i have my reasons as to why i asked for it and i even explained things out to you , yet it does not diffuse your brain .
now , all i want is to let this matter rest . my mind is too stress up with unnecessary things , you know it for yourself . so why are you even adding more to it ?
mind you , i dont wanna end myself up in a mental hospital okay ?
OK GO .
and somehow , i think im love stonned .