Please, don't leave me.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008'♥

and somehow i just dont feel like saying this .
but i hate july 1st , like totally .
i have not been smiling , no one even make me smile except for yana & bf for his endless console & Sri .

first thing when i wake up in the morning , i draged my feet to the toilet .
i decide to go to school after forced-mind told me to do so for my future .
the interest towards studies has been depleting , bit by bit .
which i myself just cant figure out why .
i know , i aint wanna brag . but i used to be someone who look forward during school days .
i used to be the one who is so keen in class .
but now , after one another , i just cant accept it anymore .
seriously , i dont wish to put the blame on anyone , but i have to do self-reflection this time round .
and when i do it now , i guess that you people who have been hurting me unintentionally go reflect too .

anw , school has been like as per normal la kan .
whats more should i touch on my school life ?
it has never been better since i step into class again last week(friday) .
i just dont understand with the sudden lagging of bonding with my classmates .
well , i understood to a certain extent that we should get serious to studies .
but break wise , i dont see myself laughing like how i used to .
well , nevermind .

i guess i should limit myself down to a certain no. of GFs im having now .
sometimes it hurts when someone who has been with you , just fade away .
without her utttering words to you , without her laughing with you like how we used to or even sharing secrets like how we used to .
the next day you come , she dont talk to you like how she used to be .
ok , i can accept the fact that friends come and go , but leaving me with no reason is like totally absurd .
cant you just tell me where have i gone wrong ?
we are grown ups but i dont expect us to behave like primary school kids .
where you will be not talking to her , where you have no friends .
as if like no one talks to you like how they used to .
if you influence , ill laugh my heads off .

i am not degrading you by mentioning about you in my blog , but im just so sad . i dont want to confront you or ask you like randomly . i shed my tears because i just hate the idea of losing a friend whom i have actually put my trust on . who talks to me in the middle of the night just to ensure that evrything is fine . like where is it now ? i am not hoping for it but why do i have to adapt and swallow every drastic changes of yours ? i dont want to repeat the same mistake again , because i know ill lose in the end . so , ill just keep my mouth shut . i never wanna mention names here , but please la . if you think i am referring to you , go reflect uh , if its true .

eh like come on la kan ! im tired of facing such not-supposed-to-be-a problem problem la . irritating tao when i still have to settle things down . can i just be happi and put on a smily face like how i used to .

i was really clueless la .
like a big big big WHY LA !

enough shit , ive had enough of pouring .
next time no more of this and that la .
if i have to face it den let it be
after all , its challenges .

ouh my dear ( i sound so YK )
thanks for fetching me up . i know you are sick .
a couple of minutes spent wont harm the day .
get well soon .
pulau ubin , if my mom let me .
ILY ((:

and to my besf ;
thanks for listening to me .
thanks for cheering me up .
it seems like i so problematic now , i know .
but tomorrow , no more of sadness ehk . I PROMISE
i had enough of suffering fo almost three weeks .
now , its time to go crazy .
ana , thanks for the train ride .
hearts ya ((:

yang penting kita hapi ((:

Thought of You @11:41 PM