Paperplastic goes around

Redundant

2010-12-03T13:17:00.001+08:00

My blog is eligible fo a display over at th museum already. So berabokkkk 

Confirmed

2010-10-09T17:03:00.001+08:00

After working with m1 for 4 months, i got my confirmation as a staff here last thursday.it was indeed a good news and i am really glad.but its saddening when my initial plan was to leave. Now im left with doubts. I hate working on shifts,i find myself like no life.omg.

Im all lost not really knowing how to go about it. But i really hope that god has something good stored fo me in th future. I wana pursue my studies and graduate with a degree.this is what i aim in my life now.

2010-09-28T21:08:00.002+08:00

I'm having a good rest till I get so bored staying at home even only for a day. Yes, I am back after months of abandoning my blog. Pardon me for the seldom updates here.

Well, prolly because I am emotionally unstable that I tend to turn to my blog to let this out. Like it will always be since I have no one else to turn to when it comes to relationship.

I don't know where to start or how I should start ranting. I am all forlorn with what's happening to my relationship. I could not depict the whole picture because it happened so fast this time. We had the biggest and worst argument ever and I could not swallow all the pain at once. It hurts me so much to see you leaving without looking back. Neither do you call nor text me even when I initiate the move. I don't want this to end either. Why was there a sudden change in you? Why does it have to end this way?

I'm tearing while typing this down. I don't know when will this tears come to a stop. You prolly don't understand how I feel after years of knowing me. You still choose not to. I went to the doctor alone, do you even care to care in the first place?

I don't know where have I gone wrong? Neither do I know what is my mistake in this relationship. I know I did something that you detest ust by reading her blog, but that should not be the absolute reason to end the relationship. Maybe you are ust finding my fault, my mistake so you can leave me for good, but sad to say, that's not good enough.

You weren't there when I'm in need especially after the bruise that I've gotten. You left me ust like that in a piece. How could you? I don't wish to spoil you nor your future. I still think about you and I truly respect your family. I lied along the way to whom I met when they ask me the same question that your parent asked, when I know I'm not supposed to. But I did that because I love you. But you still do not see it. What more can I do now baby?

Don't you see how much I love you despite all that had happened to us, to me, to our relationship? We have come this far and you told me to end everything ust like that? You take this as a puppy love dont you? I told you I want to settle down but do you ever pay close attention to whatever that I've got to say?

Baby, I still love you. You got me begging right on my knee. You knew it right from the start. Don't take the slightest mistake as a reason to end everything that we've built. You know it ain't easy to maintain this relationship, you know we went through alot of shit but we still hold on tight to each other's arms no matter what comes to tear us apart.

Why does everything has to come to an end. You told me to find someone new, but running to someone else's arms in not the solution. I don't wana make people out there as a punching bag. I still need you in my life. Please.

2010-09-23T23:05:00.000+08:00

I guess it's a norm that whenever I want to rant here, I will actually ran out of idea when initially I've already planned what should I rant about the next time I am free. Forget it, when I am in the mood, I will do it. Now, syncing Iphone this and that and doing updates for my iphone. Busy with work? yes, like forever like that. CHIAO!

Somehow or rather

2010-09-14T20:36:00.001+08:00

Sometimes i feel so mad that i feel i could tear up skin apart but sometimes i feel so sad that i could go on crying for hours like a baby.

I am all mixed up with the feelings im having right now. Or maybe, im confused? I dont know. I cant seem to get th whole picture to the arguments we had that leads to you making a harsh decision. I told you i had breakup; so which part of th sentence that you do not understand?illiterate? That may explain. Kimak cockup uh sia prangaiiiiii.

I am sad too. I mean who is not? Exception on people like you who is so heartless. I have been with you since god knows when and now you decide we should part ways? I think th whole idea of yours is totally absurd and invalid. I aint a kid and i am 21 abd you are turning 22 so please behave like ur age and not a two year old boy. Please start learning how to zip up your pants can?

I cant do this. Ill start writing ubwanted things here.

Anws, i think im falling sick, yet again!

Sunday morning

2010-08-15T18:57:00.001+08:00

I am all shagged. Been working for the past 4 days. Moreover on shifts. :((

Well, actually i have no objective for today. The fact is that im all boring, got nothing to do.

Okay here's for you baby- it has been so long that i mentioned your name in blog. I just want to drop by to say that i love you so much. Thank you for being there for me especially when im in need. We have gone through a smooth sailing relationship. I hope it will remain this way and even if so, we are able to stand together to go through all the hurdles in life together. I love you just the way you are babyyyy :))

Guess what?

2010-08-15T17:50:00.001+08:00

Guess what? Im suffering from a bad diarrhea. This isnt good lor. Even if i have consumed medicines prescribed by the doctor, it still does not get any better. In facy, it got worst okay. I aint kidding.

My body is running out of sodium and potassium, how? I need 100 plus.

Tagboard

2010-08-09T10:58:00.001+08:00

I took out my tagboard due to nuisance people who do not know how to utilise it the right way. And it annoys giving me links which is totally out of my thought. Spam? Erm, maybe. Im in no shoes to judge about it.

Ill insert my tagboard after ive done the necessary changes.

World

2010-08-08T20:11:00.001+08:00

Hello world.
Im actually blogging while working. Calls are very limited so can goyang kaki a bit.
Calls regarding iphone 4 is crazy last time. Ever since no more reservation can be done online, calls has decreased.
And now im waiting for customer to call in as well as waiting for my meal break at 8pm. How dreadful can that be, over the fact that my shift ends at 1230am. Suck more.

I am sleepy, forever.

I will

2010-08-06T03:37:00.001+08:00

Sorry fo th lac of updates.

I will update you tomorrow cause it is mu off day. Wait up yeah.

One after another

2010-07-30T22:31:00.001+08:00

I have not fully recover from my fever. Right now, im facing dry cough and it really annoys other humans. When i cough, everyone will start to look at me with these faces. Hello, like you never cough like that.

Next thing, bf has been sick for almost a week. Hr insisted on going to the docyor. Oh my, im really runnibg out of idea. Ill pray hoping that he will recover fast.

Now, my cousin at perak is hospitalised. Im very much concern about his health. Doctor claimed that the chances of him recovering is 50 50. Moreover, he is in icu and his health is at the critical state. Mom is over at perak to take a look at him. Im really sad. I remembered the time when i went to perak months ago, he seemed all fine to me.

Now everything came crashing down on me. I hope everyone is okay :(

Not funny okay

2010-07-26T10:12:00.001+08:00

Guess what? I'm down with a fever, sore throat, dry cough, running nose ever since last friday. And I have yet to report to work tomorrow when I'm on the verge of losing my voice. Now tell me - how am I to answer call like that?

Urgh, I hate being sick. Well who likes it?I will spend most of my time on bed resting and do nothing else. But still it does not help me even a little.

I don't know if this is what i want in life but I'll try my best to like it.

Pay is out but I'm contemplating whether or not to shop. Because raya is coming and i have yet to do the shopping and prepare duit raya for the kids. Woah! Now pocket git hole ady. Hahaha!

Update soob people.

2010-07-22T23:39:00.002+08:00

my friends and i have decided to go on a short break to kl in october.
to go sepang to watch moto gp on the 10th.
in collaboration with bf's bday and our monthsarry.
right now, i will need to do a lot of savings for the holiday!

I am really looking forward to it!
hope they will make it happen!
Loves loves :)

Im all mind messed up

2010-07-19T22:03:00.001+08:00

I guess i overworked. I woke up in th morning at 5 and get ready for work. Get myself to travel all the way from jb to sg.

And i refused to go home early because i miss my boyfriend badly. Grab dinner with hubby and friends at zam zam and now for a karaoke. And now my head is spinning. I cant help myself to remain active anymore.

Midnight

2010-07-13T23:46:00.001+08:00

I don't know what to do now. I am all so bored and boyfriend is away to meet his friend and I'm here lying down on my bed doing nothing but on the phone. And now I'm typing bullshits on my phone.

Tomorrow I'll be on afternoon shifts. I'll be working from 3 pm all the way till midnight. Like no life eh till Saturday. Shucks!

Nebermind, saturday will come by fast without me realizing it. And guess what? I miss my sister who stays at jb. I wonder how is she coping in life right now.

The last time I met her was two weeks ago. We ended up shopping together at tebrau jusco. It was fun to shop with my sister.

Earlier I went to accompany boyfriend to aver cause his laptop decides to misbehave. And I bumped into diniy! Heh hehs. We went to jb, then back to his home. Something happened on our way back at kje, and we were all stunt lah kan not knowing what to do. Had dinne with him and off to home.

Checked out for prices to kl, Bali and phuket. I think we will end up at kl then since I am still not stable yet. I super can't wait!

TP TP and TP!

2010-07-12T21:35:00.001+08:00

Yes yes yes! Like finally, the time i've been waiting for is finally here! I am all ecstatic over the fact that I have passed and own a license now.

I was all nervous though earlier on but still I tried my best. And I earned two points for that.

And upon telling my sister, she told me," I have to add a padlock to the car cause now there's a thief. And this thief actually steals car at night." I laughed my ass off, I tell you and she is so bad. But, in the end I'm happy ;)

Boyfriend fetched me from there and off to pay his bike first followed by swensen at vivo for our late lunch cum early dinner.

And I'm at home now all shagged.

Baby, thank you do much for th day. And I know you have been bringing me around here an there. Next time it's my turn ok :) provided my sister gives me a green light

Goodnight fellow readers! Offfff day tomorrow!

Helloooo

2010-07-11T23:18:00.001+08:00

Oh my! It's been like forever since j last update my blog. Like again and again. And it's becoming me a routine to actually apologise due to the lack of updates lately. I have been busy working and running errands on my off day.

Since I work, I abandoned my camera. That sucks. I seldom meet my friends. Everyday is the same; after work, boyfriend will fetch me and then no where to go. He knows that I am tired, and so decide to send me home. He is so sweet lah kan.

Anyways, I bought a new phone; credits to boyfriend. It was really impromptu.

What else? I'll be on evening shift on Wednesday onwards and I will be working all the way till past midnight. Lucky that cab from co. Will send me home. And there's no way that I am going to walk through the spooky ibp to the main road, I tell you.

Now that I have this phone, there's no excuse of not updating even when I'm working because we are taught to multiple-task.

Goodnight readers and wish me luck yet again for tomorrow. :)

2010-07-06T21:45:00.002+08:00

as much as you insist me to wait for your call, i will wait for it patiently.
i'm left with no other choice and i think thats the best choice given to me.
ever since you left baby.
i feel im thrown away from this world.

I'm doing badly at work.
and my *insert* is malfuntioning.
everything is haunting on me.
and im dying on my own moral and confidence.

thank you.
Im suffering badly now.

2010-06-29T22:28:00.001+08:00

pardon me fo not updating.im really sorry fo th lack of updates.i was really busy with work that i hardly had th time fo myself. Was supposed to meet mimi baby fo dinner but she was unable to make it.prolly nxt time ok bby?
Im done with 19 days of training.time flies so fast.im happy to have my cliques ard.honestly,they are my driving force to look forward to work despite th destination.oh yes,tmr ill be permanently working at ibp,jurong east.and yes,thats fate.ill end up there answering calls. So m1 customer,im here to serve you.please be nice.lol. Off to bed.ill update soon.goodnight.

2010-06-21T21:53:00.003+08:00

Generally, if I go online to blog or do something, I would go blank because I have nothing to do except for FB-ing. And if I were to update, I would update about work, work and more work. How hectic life can be.

Over the weekends, on Saturday to be precise, I went out with mother in the morning to CPF, Mendaki here and there, all over Singapore. I asked around since I want to make a study loan. I have decided to take Bachelor; double major in Psychology and Marketing Management in Kaplan.
School fees are high (what do you expect -..-) and I am trying my very best to be financially stable.
I guess I need to apply for the course next yar. Because if I do it now, I will start school in September and I am still under probation with M1. So, I'll get myself used to work first before any other commitments starts to come in.
After which, I went to Paya Lebar to accompany my mother, just where I work lah currently kan, like no life. Then sister came down to fetch us and send me back home :)

Later in th evening, I went out with my one and only lover boy. We had a great time of catching up etc. Then went to meet the rest at Bkt Timah. Well, I wish Fir was along cause he is humorous guy lor.

I really had a great time with the loved ones. Thank you mom and love for everything :)

And to my daddy, happy father's day. Though you may not define love for me, I still love you for everything.

2010-06-16T21:00:00.002+08:00

I know this blog is turning into a museum somehow. Work is really hectic that I couldn't get a space to write in or something. Go home, sleep. I always do that.

Everything is going on smoothly, I supposed. I met with a lot of new people, all from different walks of life. They are people who dominates, influences, consencious and very steady. Life is never easy, as it is. By changing myself from someone so playful to someone with full of resposibilities and commitments, is never easy though. I really need some time to improve on myself.

Training wise is good, but its not good when I am SLEEPY. Because I really cannot concentrate in class that I tend to switch myself off and daydream. Thanks to my sister who always make a coffee for me before I go off to work. And also the pantry which have an express coffee machine. All of it comes in handy now! I don't really indulge myself to coffee until when I realise I have no other choice but coffee. I need to drink at least a cup of it before work starts. Oh my, too much caffeine ady(apart from the tars I had!)!

Oh yes, it has been raining badly today till Orchard Road, Scotts Road and many other affected places is attacked by flash floods. I was really shocked that it could turn these bad. I think they need to expand the drainage system over at CBD to avoid such unforeseen things to happen again anytime soon. Oh mr. weather, please grant us a good weather tomorrow. I don't want to get all soaked up please.

Ok tired, goodbye.

2010-06-08T23:11:00.002+08:00

I'm going to make a quick update. I am doing some admin things while blogging.

Oh my, I miss so much of cyber information when I'm away from laptop.
Quite a number of issues happening now, but I couldn't care any lesser than that.
Only showed concern will do. So long as they don't disturb my cup of coffee will do.

Oh my, training has been good for the past two days.
It will be a hectic training starting from tomorrow onwards because that's when you learn more about everything in the company. I hope I can make it though. Moreover, I have three tests to sit for in order to test my knowledge about the company. I hope I can do it as well.

GST is coming. Oh my, so happy. Ok lah, I is first timer. So pardon the older people eh. Kidding :p

Everything has been going on smoothly.
Hope it will for the upcoming days.
Insya'allah.

Update when I'm free aite.
Lots of love,
NURUL

2010-06-06T15:11:00.002+08:00

Hello fellow readers.

Currently, I am watching The Arrivals on Youtube.
It has been rumours everywhere stating about Illuminati these and that.
Well, its up to the individual whether to believe it or not.
And it is really a complicated thing to understand.
I watched halfway because I can't seem to absorb much of the information shared in all the videos. Moreover, there are many parts to the completion of the series, which makes me go confused on which to watch first.
But one thing for sure, fuck it.

2010-06-05T19:18:00.002+08:00

Two more days to work!

2010-06-05T17:21:00.000+08:00

I'm back humans.
I'll either share a little pictures here or you can get full pictures on FB soonn.
I need some patience with Fb, please, excuse me.

2010-05-31T20:37:00.000+08:00

I'M ON HIATUS READERS.
I'LL BE BACK ON FRIDAY.

Love, there's a post for you.
heh hehs!

2010-05-31T20:29:00.002+08:00

I pity with how things work.
I mean, I don't understand with humans nowadays.
Was it me or them?
I don't get it why;
Children nowadays are shy to walk with their parents.
Retaliate what their parents say.
Self-fish and not prioritise.
Rebellious to what their parents say.
They don't appreciate things that they obtain.
And never grateful to what they have.

Well, they may be on the growing stage and that is when they learn to be defiant.
But that's not the way. It doesn't help a little.
Oh my, this world is going crazy, don't you think so?
Nevermind, I don't have the power to say things out.
So let's sit back, relax and watch what's there to come next.

2010-05-31T19:38:00.002+08:00

I don't need money except you.
I care about nothing in the world except you.
Everything will be happy when I'm around you.
I don't care what what people say so long as I got you.
Nothing else matters to me except you.
I love the way you hug and kiss me. You make me melt.
You don't know how much I am in love with you.
Though I seldom meet you, I swear this heart grows fonder for you.
I really can't wait to meet you once I return baby.
I ain't a sweet talker and I am not good at it either.
I can't build sentences to let you comprehend this heart.

I do, cherish you.
Now, tomorrow and days to come.
Only you baby, only you.

2010-05-30T21:31:00.002+08:00

Alhamdulillah, everything went smoothly today. I get to meet all my brothers and sisters. Once done, I went to clean up the house, scrub the utensils, sweep the kitchens. Woah, so tired. And I really had a good scrub on my body. And now, I am resting lor. No more ounce of energy left in the body.

Tomorrow, I will be accompanying mother to OG at Chinatown to get her bag changed because brother bought the wrong type of bag for her birthday. Then at night, I'll have a car ride with my cousin to Perak, back to kampung. I really miss my auntie! I can't wait to meet her.

Oh yes, something happened earlier on, which I don't want to elaborate here. I swear I feel like screaming. I don't what is wrong with these humans. Nevermind, breathe in and out.

I miss my love so much. I really hope to meet him soon.

Readers, pray for me that I'll have a safe trip to and fro. I'll update soon :)

2010-05-28T21:28:00.002+08:00

Today, I spent most of my time in the kitchen like that. What a good daughter.

But I am so bored lor staying here. I've been rotting in here and I miss the fun I used to have. But nevermind.

I've been helping my mother in the kitchen. Preparing a little for Sunday. Doa selamat for myself cum mama's birthday. Oh great but I feel useless cause I is so kering cannot buy my mother anything. Prolly, I draw a card or something(so primary school). Eh, thought that counts in eh. I can't wait to meet all my siblings and then snap many many pictures with my new camera. Oh current addiction.

I've changed my taste of color. I've been going for red lately. Red Lacoste wallet, Red E63 and red camera.

And earlier in the day, I went to my neighbor's house cause the anak tunang. woah! so cool uh oi. siap pelamin. Die nye tunang so grand lah. i think tunang with anak sultan. Ok i merepek. But the food, is awesome. Die bwk kedai dtg mari, masak kan untok kite. ahh, cakap ape nak makan. Nasi bryani, western, capati, kueh teow goreng, ikan bakar? amik kao. sume sudah siap.

ok, its no a good post today, sorry. but i miss typing onli. lol. bye

2010-05-27T22:25:00.003+08:00

I am all stoning and shagged.
I had a short nap and accompanied mother to supermarket.
And did house chores when I reached home.
I need to rest now.

2010-05-27T11:12:00.002+08:00

AKU PALING PANTANG KALAU KITA CALL TANYA BAIK2, ORANG YANG LAYAN KITE BERBUAL BALIK MACAM SIAL. DASAR KURANG PENDIDIKAN. PIKIR APE? KITE NI BINATANG KAPE? PUKIMAK NYE ORANG ORANG NIE. SUNDAL. SUMPAH AKU BINGIT GILE. KALAU TAK SUKE LAYAN, TAKMO KEJE LAH SUAR. PEGI CABOT BULU KETIAK MAK KAU BAGUS BODOH. SIAL ABES. URGH.

2010-05-27T06:39:00.002+08:00

Morning earthlings. I am so bored right now.
Did nothing much the whole day today when I'm here.
Only starbucks for supper with my cousin and sister.

I miss my babies badly.
Ever since graduation, we really had a hard time to gather all of us together.
The last gathering we had was at East Coast Park.
I am happy for Niza and Mimi baby for they have worked already.
Then me? Only start work on the 7th.
I have to dread myself for another 10 days before I embark on a career.
Aiyoo, formal wear to work is so not me. But I have to bear with it.
Then I have to drag myself to training for training at Paya Lebar. But its great cause I can meet my babies who stays at the east for dinner or something. I better utilise my three weeks over at the east.

I'll be on hiatus next week.
Back to kampong next week!
With three families altogether. It will be awesome!
Holiday! As much as I deserve it. I think I need a good break before I come back to Singapore to face the real world.

And now, my letter 'R' is giving me problems. Aiyoo. I think I'll have to get an external keyboard soon. Or prolly a notebook in the next two months.

2010-05-26T03:19:00.000+08:00

I don't even know that when my intention was to make us happy, it could turn these bad.

2010-05-25T22:48:00.002+08:00

OMG.
Thank you mommy for th camera.
I am so in love with it.
I love youuu.

2010-05-23T20:07:00.002+08:00

A little update about today. I went to grab a passport photo. Thank you sis, for accompanying me.

Tomorrow, I will need to come down to Singapore again to sign my contract with M1. They give me a juicy salary (able to support me and mom)and incentives which I am so in it. Here I come M1!

And now, Mom wants me to get ready to accompany her to book bus tickets to go back kampong on the first week of June. HOLIDAY again! Well, it was really uncalled for but mother wants to visit her sister. So am I :) Going to book tickets now!

2010-05-22T10:33:00.000+08:00

It's been five years that we've known each other and I am happy to get to know someone for this long, going through thick and thin together. He has always been there to give me th moral support, encouragements and everything. He always make me feel special whenever I am around him. He never fail to hug me when I'm all teared up. Thank God, he has been like my father, my brother, my love, my bestfriend, my enemy and what's not.

I failed my TP. That sucks due to the heavy traffic at Bukit Batok Road. Woah, I never knew that changing lane in the morning could be really hard. I will never book TP in the morning again. It really freaks me out when all the experience drivers were not friendly yesterday. But nevermind. I know it's a lot of money wasted, but it's okay. I'll take this as a stepping stone to success.

On a lighter note, M1 called me and I got the position that I wanted. And, I get a lot of incentives like phone voucher, waiver of monthly handphone bills. It feels so great! Seems like my welfare has been taken care of. Thank you. I will start woking on th 7th and I have two more weeks to waste time. (:

Mother has been supporting me all the way, financially, mentally. All of that, a big big thank you mom. You know I love you. I'll be heading down to BBDC again, prolly later. Run some errands with mother later. And mother told me that, she want to buy for me a digi camera! YEAY! I so want the Samsung! heh hehs. Thank you so much mommy. Hanya Tuhan yang dapat membalas budi baik mama. (:

Gotta goo. Meddling with my sister's iphone now.

2010-05-20T18:34:00.000+08:00

This is it.
I'll do my best.
Thanks for the advance wishes of luck people.
I appreciate it so much.
And I love you guys. ((:

Currently, I'm reading through all the practical book.
And also reflecting on my mistakes and ways to refrain it.
Time for correction!
Though I've attended two revisions, I am still not confident though.
Pressure is acting up on me.

And love is so sweet, he is going through it with me. Heh hehs.
And tomorrow, he sanggup to travel all the way to BBDC and wait for a good news.
Hope it is a good news tomorrow.

Ill have an early rest.
Thanks readers.
You know I love you :)
Ill update soon!

2010-05-19T14:02:00.002+08:00

Alhamdulillah, I got an offer from M1 as a customer service call centre officer. Work will commence on the 1st week of June in which I will need to attend for a three weeks training at the east. I hope I can stabilize myself with long journey for the three weeks and after that, I will be relocated at the West which is more convenient for myself. It's a shift work but that doesnt matter for now. at least I can fill up my POSB account. Insya'allah, everything will go on smoothly.

And goodluck to myself on Friday. TP dok. And I never felt so worried about it. This is way too fast, but I will do my best. Pray for me yah readers. (:

2010-05-17T22:56:00.006+08:00

Baby, this is for you sayang.

2010-05-17T20:56:00.003+08:00

2010-05-17T20:35:00.002+08:00

I'm contemplating whether or not to bring my laptop tomorrow.
And yes, I'll be attending an interview tomorrow.
Hope I could at least get a job soon.
Sitting at home and doing nothing is killing me big time.
The holidays that Im having now is way too looonnnnnnngggggg.
And I need to do something worthwhil like increasing some cents in my account.
Rather than do nothing. I know I've been complaining for so many times.
But I really need a job badly!

2010-05-17T15:33:00.003+08:00

oh, I had my maggee mee for lunch. what a random.
Kinda get bored of eating rice for every meal, and so I decide to change my appetite only for today's meal. And I'm so full like that. So nice and yummy!
Still doing job hunting through internet. I am so tired of sending in resumes but none of them replied for an interview or something. Oh yes, I know I must not give up. So here I am enduring till my last breath.
And I miss my baby boyyyy. Mesti die tengah tidoooo.

And to my dearest Aniza Anis,
I would like to take this opportunity to wish you
Happy 20th!
May God bless you in anything that you do and goodluck in your future endeavours.
Thank you so much for the friendship we sail on, I really had a great time having you by my side.
Thank you fo being there when I'm in need, you have always been the bestest.
I love you in every ways.
And hope to keep in touch till the end baby. :)

2010-05-15T17:05:00.003+08:00

My cute little mischievious boyfriend, Hamirul Hasraff.
He can never get serious when it comes to snapping pictures.

Oh wells, life has been pretty good (I lied) these days. No point telling the whole world about it, I mean there's nothing that they can do to know exactly how I feel. Nor can they help me in sorting things out, if any. So, I'll keep it to myself. It's normal to face up with the ups and downs of life. All I need to have is to be strong in facing any hurdles in life.

At brightminds, I applied as many job as possible. I swear I'm not going to miss out any chances. Enough of me missing ICA interview, next time, I'll remain alert and know what to do. I'll be going for an interview on Tuesday and Love and me decided to go for a job hunting this coming Tuesday. Pray for me that I'll get a job yeah.

My little baby boy, you know what?
I always love you like that. hehs. <3

Oh yes, I've attended my graduation ceremony last Tuesday. My mother, sister, brother and Kak Lor dropped by to see me. Thank you people. Not forgetting, my lovely love and Khai for dropping by too. They got all soaked up in the rain while on their way to the school. How sweet is love. (: Moreover, he brought along his camera which I least expect it cause he knows my camera died on me again. What's new kan baby? Thank you so much lovely people for coming. I love you all.

Thank you friends, because knowing you guys has created a deep impact in my life. You guys changed me to becoming someone better. Hope to keep in touch yeah.

And Niza, you are the first girl I met on my second year and my last person I had on graduation Day. Thank you fo always being there. It was really great.
I will always remember this
you: eh name kau sape uh?
me: Nurul. kao?
you. Niza.
And then we had smoke breaks and gather as many people. And together we have our babies; going stronggggg!

2010-05-10T20:57:00.002+08:00

To my Dearest Boyfriend,
I would like to take this opportunity to wish you happy monthsarry. Throughout the years and months I've been with you, we faced with alot of hurdles. However, we are able to pull through it, leaving everything behind and walk together still, hand in hand. Hamirul, I am really proud to have a boyfriend like you. I've learnt alot of things in this relationship. How to not give up, always be patient and always be the bigger person. I love you so much and no words can ever describe the affection I have for you. You really changed me to what I am today from the very start I knew you. I love you, baby.

And when I did this with you, in my heart, I'll pray that this relationship will go on smoothly. With God's willing, we can make through it. Happy monthsarry again baby.

2010-05-09T22:43:00.003+08:00

Just wanna drop by to wish all mothers' a
Happy Mother's Day!
May you have an enjoyable day today together with your loved ones.

And to my mother,
I love you in every possible ways.
You are my pillar of strength.
Without you, life is rather meaningless and without you, I won't be what I am today.
Thank you for raising me up, with everything that you can.
I am grateful, thankful for you help me in moulding my future.
Sayanggggg makkkk!

2010-05-07T23:27:00.002+08:00

NOW WHAT?
I'm down with a bad cough and sore throat.
Oh my, I'm on th verge of becoming a man ady with the husky voice of mine.
Me no like :( now cannot sing sing and sing.
must sit down, not talk much and just listen to what people have got to say.
Didn't i tell you this really suck the best out of me?
I so want to meet my babies tomorrow.
And I have yet to recover soon, in less than 24 hours.
Cannot talk many many, laugh hysterically.
oh noooo.

2010-05-06T01:04:00.002+08:00

Would you like to have a single life?

Well, not at all. I mean I never thought of being single at any point of time. I knew my BF since 5 years ago, and to let it go all at once, in split seconds is not easy. He knew me inside out. And I know he is the only one who really understands me and can take care of me and also be there for me throughout the rollercoaster rides in life. I am thankful to have him by my side.

2010-05-06T00:09:00.002+08:00

WINDOW 7 IS THE SEX LAHHH!

I can't stop staring at the screen with all the amazing features in it. It is so awesome. I'm lucky to be able to change it right before graduation. Thanks to laptop who starts to buat prangai. I have no other choice but to travel all the way to woodlands for the sake of getting my laptop configured. I'm glad for I get to meet my friends in school and the environment is totally different. Seeing all the year ones, school is becoming all so nonsense. Pasal stare pun leh gado? Lu zaman bila brother? Ok byeeee.

Oh tomorrow, I need to accompany my mother to the clinic because she keeps on having stomach flu. It has been ongoing for 2 weeks.And it kind of annoys me because she refused to go to the doctor in the first place. Dah kena marah, baru nak pegi. I don't mean to be rude towards her but I have to be stern. If not me who pushes her forward, then who else will it be? Must always take care of mother okay. heh hehs.

Then, I really need to look out for my formal top. I'm running out of time. I'm not free on any other days except for tomorrow. I gravely need to settle down on one top tomorrow.

Friday Practical
Saturday Picnic with babies!
Sunday Mother's Day
Monday Practical
Tuesday Graduation Ceremony.
Oh no, I need to alter my skirt!

Oh yes, currently, I'm down with cold. Weather is not on my side these days. Suddenly it rain and the next second, you feel all humid and hot. And I didn't get a beautiful sleep (padehal tido mcm orang mati) these days for no apparent reason. I keep on tossing and turning on my bed. Well, I hope I can sleep peacefully tonight, wish me luck okay.

Goodnight absolutely awesome readers!

2010-05-03T14:41:00.002+08:00

First and foremost, let me take this opportunity to wish my brother-in-law a
memorable Happy Birthday. Goodluck in your future endeavours and may God bless you in anything that you do. You know you have us to support you. You are the best brother-in-law ever! :)

This picture was taken before the whole scene.

And this was the aftermath.

Credits to AV and JD.
You got me tipsy babyyyy.

2010-05-02T15:41:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, we have planned earlier on to go to bugis but then it rains in the west. So everything has to be delayed. In the end, we went at 2000 hrs. We went to bugis, dinner at Ljs (since I crave for it) and then to Pinnacle @ duxton rd and then to labrador park. omg, pinnacle @ duxton road is the in-thing. awesome-ness!
Last stop; Labrador Park to meet Fir. We had a great laughter there paying bluff, taiti and donkey!

2010-05-02T14:36:00.000+08:00

Amik kao. Berbual ngn mimi luahkan prasaan eh. talk and laugh non-stop. biase, gossip mesti ade!

2010-05-02T14:15:00.002+08:00

I is so sad. After three years of using my laptop, it finally starts to get sick on me. imagine, the letter in between h and k is not working anymore. how to type words with the letter contain inside? oh my, i need to buy a keyboard like that. ok not. then have to bring it around ust for th sake of the letter. i need to work immediately so i can get myself to buy another laptop. saat2 takde duit macam gini yang die buat hal noh. mane nak korek duet? gali lobang pon tk dapat. aiyerrrrr. So sian already. ok bye.

2010-04-30T18:33:00.001+08:00

If you could look like anybody, who would it be?

sidetrack; we share the same birthday. but she happens to be 2 years older than me.

2010-04-30T17:13:00.002+08:00

Please don't leave me.

I'll take a step at a time. I know you will do it again. Please give me sometime to absorb everything that you've said. I'm too shagged to have a quarrel over th same matter. Have your mind and soul to set everything out.

Despite everything, I will lay low for it. And I won't be shy to say it either.
I love you.

2010-04-30T14:28:00.002+08:00

Some may have read it somewhere and me too have stumbled upon it long time ago. And I stumble upon it again, so I decide to share with you people.

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, “I’ve got something to tell you”. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly, I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking.

"I want a divorce". I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "why"?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally, she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and though it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she had to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed.

So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, “daddy is holding mommy in his arms”.

His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the floor, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; “don’t tell our son about the divorce”. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realize that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized that she was not young anymore. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graving! Our marriage had taken its tolls on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me. She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head, our son came in at the moment and said, “Dad, it’s time to carry mum out”.

To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arm, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much light weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms, I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, “I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy”. I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind. I walked upstairs.

Dew opened the door and I said to her, “Sorry Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore”. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. “Do you have a fever?” she said.

I moved her hand off my head. “Sorry, Dew,” I said, “I won’t divorce”.

My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until deaths do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears, I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, “I’ll carry you our every morning until deaths do us apart”. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face. I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

By: Joey Gabinete Acebron

2010-04-29T13:16:00.003+08:00

Cats or dogs?

I would definitely go for cats. Because they are cute. No matter how big their size are. But for dogs, I would prefer puppies. All the big big dogs, I swear it got me panic whenever they walked past me or anything. What else? Since I was brought up as a Muslim, I am not allowed to touch dogs. So then, that is the reason why I did not like dogs.

2010-04-27T17:57:00.002+08:00

I got my bill paid just now. Thank you mommy.
Some people call me a spoilt brat because everything that I want, I could get it in split seconds. But that is never true to me. I really need to work hard for it. Love doesn't come on its own unless you start giving. You'll never get unless you start giving. So does it goes to me. I need to work hard, like study hard, prove to my mother and everyone that exist that I can do it. And never do something, expecting something in return, that will never happen brother.

I need to find a job. Mom's birthday is next month. TP is next month, on my nephew's birthday. Graduation ceremony is next month. Alot of things happen next month. And I is kanchiong because I have not even prepare a single thing! GOSH! No work, no money. HOW? Korek jubo ciom uh. Ok bye.

2010-04-26T16:20:00.002+08:00

Life is such a bore.
Waiting and waiting is really a waste of time.
I really need to find a part-time job at least before settling down in a full-time scope.
If not, I will keep on eating and do nothing at home.
This can't be happening!
Oh my.
I've yet to settle a lot of thing,
Especially my bills which is 4 months due.
Thanks eh!

2010-04-24T14:21:00.004+08:00

And I'm back to home sweet home.

I don't really care how badly I am judged at, because the fact that they do not know the real me. It is a disappointment when I don't get my say, over the fact that you need to know the whole truth. I'm fine, I'll live with it. But as much as you want to know, I still have all the evidence for reference. I'm not a bitch who go around destroying people's relationship. But some people just have to twist and turn stories so that you can go on believing. I am not close to you at all, but as a woman I must say, we share the same heart and thoughts over something/someone. Do we have to go on hurling wild accusations? I think you need to listen to the other party to get the conclusion right. If you think I am writing bad things about you again, I am not now. I want to get things clear. And since I don't get my say, I guess this is the only way to reach you. I know you are done with me/over the issue, because truth hurts. But its better to know the truth than you live your life in denial. Of course, I am here to stand for my right.

If not, I'mma let things go. I know it's a waste of time dwelling about this because it is none of my concern but when things got into a chaos, I need to stand for my right rather than bullshitting my way throughout the scene. I will try my best to let things go no matter how I am badly cursed at, because God knows the whole truth. It is okay, and I'm not trying to say that I ni alim-ulamak mana lah kan, but basic things like be patient this and that, I know and I respect it.

You have your mind to think, so think it through.

2010-04-22T20:54:00.002+08:00

Currently, I'm at Love's home. He's bathing while I'm stoning. I can't wait to meet up with the rest. It has been quite some time that I never get the chance to chill around with the awesome people. Not forgetting, my babies. I hope to gather you guys again before graduation. We need to do a little celebration for ourselves, for the friendship that has bring us to. I really enjoy my stay in RP, moreover meeting great great people like you guys. No words could express how thankful I am to meet people like you. We share, we care and we grow up together in becoming a better person. I love you guys a lot. I appreciate all the things that you have done for me. Throughout the thick and thin, the laughter and sorrow. People, meet up soon okay?

It's funny when I come to think about it. I never had my say, so let it be.

2010-04-22T20:01:00.002+08:00

I miss the whole bunch of humans right there.
It was really a waste when I only get close to them on the 8th day of our trip in Korea.
The most greatest thing was when I actually found out that Pei Yi was my junior when we had our last dinner at Korea. It was really hilarious and also an unforgettable moment for me.
Dickson and Melvin is really gentlemen I must say. The fact that they were there to accompany mel and me shopping.

Now, I miss Korea. Not for the food or anything else, but the weather there is awesome. I don't perspire there, at all!

I am currently looking for a job but all like don't want me like that. HOW? oh my, I can't give up, can I? Gotta work hard so that I can achieve what I've been longing for.

2010-04-22T14:38:00.002+08:00

OMG!

2010-04-21T23:37:00.001+08:00

I'm all hurt.
ttyl

2010-04-21T23:05:00.002+08:00

Oh my, though I am literally not engaged to any activities at home, I have no concrete reason as to why I am all shagged today. I did not attend much of house chores today. I guess I slept more than required. Fuck it, ain't in a mood to blog.

I dont know why whenever I'm at JB, I will always have to cry, calm down and everything. oh gosh, I am all lost over your words.

2010-04-21T16:08:00.001+08:00

I need yogurt to freshen up my day.
I swear I am dying sitting and do nothing at home.
I need Jack Daniel tomorrow.

2010-04-20T23:48:00.002+08:00

I may not have the time to share with you people about my trip to Korea.
I really had a great time there together with the rest of the students.
I was 'cuture shock' when a meal was served on the first day there because I am so not used to the food there and moreover it looks all deceiving. Some of the food, I have to tell the truth that some of the meals are not up to my liking but what to do, I have no other choice.

I have learnt alot during my stay there. Also the visits to the universities and the companies' factory was awesome. I saw in real life how car was made, how TV was invented this and that, I was really amazed as to how the technology has made our life easier.

I would say Seoul is awesome. I can go crazy shopping, I tell you. All the things sold are at its reasonable place. Make-ups are heaven! I swear they are way way cheaper than Singapore.

And there are few things which I like about them;
1. Their country are way cleaner than what we can ever think of despite how big the country is.
2. They are really eco-friendly.
3. Their food are way healthier than us. Too much vegetables till I cannot take it okay.
4. The air is more refreshing!

But I can't stand it when they just bump into you accidentally or not, they won't apologise. They have no basic manners. I swear I hate that part the most.

And I can't stand how the facilitators in-charge take care of our welfare. I swear they fucken spoilt my mood most of the time. They are effing irresponsible. Think so much of the school's reputation, I know I made my mistakes and apologised. But what did you guys do? You guys managed to laugh when everything that happened is not a laughing matter. Just what the fuck you guys are there for? OMG. Even they bring me to places where pork are sold. I swear I will never forgive that. You are not respecting me as a Muslim there. So much of you convincing our parents, NO PORK AND LARD, where is it by the way? Food for muslims are hard to find there? EXCUSES.

2010-04-19T22:20:00.004+08:00

Hello world. I'm sorry for I seldom update my blog these days. I have been busy for the past three days.
On Friday,
I went to practical and after which Love fetched me and helped me out in taking my things at my sister's house. Then I went to his home and chill around. After which, we had our early dinner over at Amin's Foodstall. Time really past by fast whenever I meet him. He sent me off to my Grandma's house to meet my brother-in-law and back to home sweet home.
On Saturday,
I accompanied my sister the whole day at Singapore and JB. I was really shagged when I reached home.
On Sunday,
I was really bored at home. I decided to cut my hair, especially the split ends and the dried hair. And my aunt actually gave me a large sum of money that I decide to re-bond my hair instead and highlight them. I miss my perm though, but I miss my wavy hair the most. I have no pictures to share, sorry about that. And I think tak perlu eh. LOL.

Alhamdulillah, everything is going on smoothly. I hope it will remain this wayyy. And please, lets not have a tiff over small things, I is super tired about it. No one can ever replace you baby. You are still the best in my heart though. I don't care what people say, because I'm in love with you.

And Farhan, Happy Advance 21st! Good luck in your future endeavours and may God Bless you. All the secrets we shared, I will still keep to it, my friend. I just hope to see you happy. I know a lot of things happened, and before you want or wish to explain, its okay, cause I don't need it. I'm fine with it. Don't worry, I respect people's decision. But you know me, I always come clean. And make sure this time kao graduate eh.

And to people who may think yang I ni step gerek, Sorry uh orang yang tak gerek. Didn't your mom tell you not to play with fire?

2010-04-15T22:49:00.003+08:00

I wish I could scream in your ears up for no reason. Okay merepek.

What do I achieve today?
N-O-T-H-I-N-G
I stone-d 3/4 of the day at home. Too much time wasted already.
But I think I did something meaningful like filling up resumes and hunt for jobs via internet.
It was really tiring but I hope it helps.

What else?
Oh yes, I know I shouldn't say this but somehow it's no more a surprise.
I've booked TP!; next month.
I hope I can do it.

I'll be having a graduation ceremony on the 11th May.
I so cannot wait to get my certificate because I want the transcripts badly should there be any interview.
Wearing the robe together with my friends. I could foresee what is going to happen.
Sure to have excitement and tears of joy.
BUT..
I've yet to buy something formal for myself.
AND
I am officially broke cause Dad did not give me my monthly expenses.
So have yet to wait this and that. Oh my!

Guess what, I was so bored just now that while I was chatting with Love,
I was like persuading him to go club with me tonight.
Then he say not today and I tried every means to convince him.
It's not really a place for me and him but I like the songs and nothing else.
And then he said this,
"You have my permission to go club with your friends today, I won't be mad."
I am not happy with that.
You know why??
Because all my kakis' school today and they have lesson tomorrow.
FML.

I'll be stoning again tonight trying to get sleepy.
Tomorrow I have prac again and meet LOVE!

2010-04-15T13:50:00.002+08:00

Today, my best friend, my boyfriend, and I were watching a movie. The movie got boring and the lights were out, so I fell asleep. When I woke up, I went into my room and found my best friend and my boyfriend asleep naked in MY bed. FML

Today, I told my parents that I was pregnant. I'm 16. While my mom looked shocked, my dad started to chuckle. When I asked why, he said, "It's funny that someone would want to sleep with you." FML

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend of 3 years in his living room when a girl barges in, sees us, and screams "I knew it!" then rushes out. My boyfriend gets up, grabs his pants and while chasing after her yells "baby she's nothing, you know I only love you!" FML

Today, I had sex for the first time. The guy was so "ungifted", I'm technically still a virgin. FML

I'll look up on it more for sharing purposes. LOL!

2010-04-14T19:03:00.002+08:00

" Mommy, I got stomachache"

Omg, for no apparent reason, I have a stomache ache when I just had my meal just now. Love was sweet lor, he suap me, despite his mom around. I is malu. Lucky that we talked things out yesterday night and I hope everything will turn out fine. Don't bear grudges okay, baby. No good for your mind, soul and spirit and whats not. Stay calm and be happy always. No time to fight as we have a lot of things to laugh at in this world. Why frown? Put on that smiley face. And I love you.

My brother called me and asked me to go over to his house to celebrate the wife's birthday. I'm still contemplating on it. I like loser if I go there alone. Oh my god, but I so miss my brother. One thing about me, I can never make up my mind. Annoying tao jadi perempuan!

Had my practical lesson just now. I love the ramp lor. Dah macam bawa lorry wohhh. HAHAHA!
Dah lah, I semangat due minit only to talk her and there, abeh now lazy to type cause sakit perot. Update soon yaw humans!

Stay cool and funky.
Nk supperclub please.

2010-04-13T23:21:00.002+08:00

Now I want you to read it and feel me. Feel me. I'm all mixed up now. Now what you need to do is get my feelings right. I want to get all hyped up like before. I need the mercy.

2010-04-13T21:52:00.002+08:00

I am too tired to wait when I know it will be to no avail. I don't wish to irritate you either by calling and calling. Since, you can't even spare a thought for me, I've got nothing to say either. You have the right to be mad at me, but it's not a good idea because you are dwelling about it for too long. I don't how to pacify you, comfort you. I have tried and I don't know the result yet. I don't know what more can I do to make you smile again. I know I need to make it all up to you, but I've tried my best didn't I? And in the end, I get all these in return. As must as you said I deserve this, I'll suck it in. I am all forlorn and I'm at my most unbelievable state of mind that this is to happen when we have better things to deal with. And I can't believe we drag the matter for so long. Oh my God, why of why baby?

I want to talk to you, but I couldn't find the perfect time either. I don't how to start all these again, I'm not used to us fighting since we have not for a period of time. How to handle these? I hope you are there, when I come around to meet you. Please, don't put this to a disappointment.

I miss you, Hamirul Hasraff.

2010-04-13T19:50:00.002+08:00

This was something random. I was Fb-ing, looking through my friend's profile and I tried on this thing called; The hidden meaning behind your name. So I tried mine, and it kinda snap me on the face cause if you all notice, I am not mentally stable with my relationship.

So I tried typing love's name down and view the results. I find it true though.
"Kamu tidak suka pujian dan suka mendiamkan diri. Sikap ini amat disenangi oleh teman-temanmu. Mungkin sikapmu itu menjadi teladan bagi mereka."

Don't ask me why the fuck I do that. I feel so hopeless with myself. I am a stalker every now and then hoping for something but there was never a miracle for me. What a luck! I wish he is here so that I can share my laughter and sorrow together. I just called his home and was acknowledged about him sleeping. I know, he is back to his old him, dammit. I miss the chance. I shouldn't have done that to him.

I miss my, "Mr. Nice Guy". I hope he will take note of it. Tear up my heart and think through it carefully. Come on, I am so tired of us brooding about the same old thing. Have we not draw any conclusion to it? please lah baby. Please Please please please. I surrender, you win. I can't afford to lengthen the matter with someone whom I love. I made a mistake, am i ego and not make things up to you. I pujok, I tried every means seh, but you jual mahal. Come on lah, its a small matter kan. Ya allah.

2010-04-13T14:20:00.005+08:00

Before I say a thing, I would say I miss that lady in the picture.
Its been quite some time that I never had the chance to meet her.
Moreover, school reopens on Thursday, so the chances of me getting to meet her is low.
But I really hope I could meet her during the weekends together with the rest.

Well, ever since my return, I sense something has changed.
Yes, it maybe none of their business but it is for me though I am not close to the person in the first place. I am really wondering what happen to Affan that I rarely get the chance to meet him. Love said that he has started working and busy with his life. Since, I was conveyed that way, I will always pray the best for him. Hope he succeed in everything that he do. Well, I wish we could always gather like before. I am affected, you see, even the slightest thing.

And here you go. Yes, I admit for not being myself these few days. I blamed myself for having all the insecurities when I am not around you. I know how fucked up you feel that you wish you-could-shout-right-at-my-face-to-wake-the-hell-out-of-me-and-remind-me-that-you-have-always-been-true. I know, it sucks to be in that situation. But, I know you know me better in every ways and you know the reason as to why I behave in such a manner. I guess there isn't a need for me to elaborate on it right baby. I am so sorry for being judgmental, selfish, you name it. I'll take in everything that you have said/going to say.
This is not like your first time knowing that I love you right. I mean, I've always convey things clear out to you that I love you and I myself wouldn't want to trade you over someone else be it that human has all the money in the world and muke die lagi awesome dari Christiano Ronaldo. I don't need the handsome face, the money, the assets, the luxury life in a person. All I need is the true love from someone whom I love so much. I don't need anything else to make the world spinning around.
I don't have all the beautiful Romeo words with me to make you fall for it. I only have my actions, the hugs and kisses to make you know how deeply I am in love with you.
I know I am not myself ever since my return. I know how I screw things up and I really do not mean to hurt you or anything alright. Right from the start baby, from the time I know you, from the time I lay my first kiss on you, I know I will always love you.

You know what, I still remember myself laying by the cemented seats with you side by side, star gazing together. And I still remember the hand signals you gave to me and I pretend to not know a thing.
When my heart actually says,
" I'm always yours, Hamirul Hasraff"
Forgive me for everything that I've done, right from the start till this very seconds. I do not mean to hurt you or anything. I am just a human and could not run away from making mistakes. I am still growing up and learning. Forgive me, baby. I wanna lead this life with you. You should have known better sayang.

2010-04-12T21:09:00.003+08:00

Yes I know it comes to a point where I will be demoralised again and again.
People change, you agree? So do I? I changed to becoming a better person.
I don't wish to cling on to the past that I had, please forgive me.
I hate it so much, that I will cry, too much of a disappointment with myself.
You don't know how it feels to live my life that way which I don't wish either.
Please don't take it as a strong point to you to get me all loosen up and surrender.
I still have my pride, my dignity. I would thank you if you could pay some respect to that at the very least.
I am feeling all useless, helpless.
But this is what God has stated down for me, and I need to face it.
You think I want it so much, I don't, for goodness sake.
I feel all disgusted with myself. Do you ever know that?
I can't run away from reality, from fate.
I will accept all the sarcasm made by people, because I changed and not dwell on it so much.
But please, give me a chance, like how God always give to all His followers, after all mistakes made.
I am just a human, I can't be perfect.
You just don't have to bring me down with your words.
You don't have to.

2010-04-11T22:21:00.002+08:00

I fake it.

2010-04-10T19:56:00.002+08:00

Happy monthsarry baby :)

I am really glad for we have made this far in upholding this relationship.

I hope to counting down more days and months and years! with you sayang :)

You have stolen my heart right from the start.

And even if I tried to run away from it, this heart says,

"you are the one."

I love you, only you Hamirul Hasraff

2010-04-10T17:14:00.001+08:00

All these uploading of pictures is really a waste of my time.

GOSH!

2010-04-10T16:18:00.002+08:00

I don't know why I can't upload pictures by using MF browser.

It states, " error. Click here for details."

I click on it but I can't understand even a single thing

So, I have no other choice but to use IE instead.

Whenever I want to upload pictures, there will always be an unexpected event.

That's the reason why I hate to do all of these, because I'm sure to be impatient.

And I have lots of pictures to upload please. Don't annoy me with anything for now.

And I'm down with diarhea and I don't know what I've actually eaten till I'm the one who get it alone. I tried to recall what I've eaten but I don't know what exactly it is. Nevermind, I have to live with it. I'll be talking again soon. :)

2010-04-06T18:34:00.003+08:00

And now I wish I'm not home. It's contradicting from my previous post.
But that's just how I feel when I lost my money.

2010-03-30T20:01:00.000+08:00

I WANNA GO HOME. :(

2010-03-24T14:28:00.002+08:00

If you ever land on the wrong nerves, you better deal with it, nice and slow.
I don't go barking unless you want me to.
Stop being so inhuman, I mean, I don't see your point of doing so.
And I don't stoop up to your level, baby.
So, get someone of your own level.
Low class, ______.
What did you say again? Ermm, I couldn't care any lesser than that.
Try harder next time okay? Best of luck ((:

Tak sia-sia kan I boleh track down who reads my blog.
That's so shallow of you, darling.

2010-03-21T14:01:00.003+08:00

Love just called me few minutes ago and I'm halfway through uploading of pictures. I think I'll upload the pictures again at night (if I'm home early). I'll be meeting him in half and hour time but then I am still here blogging. Well, no harm right?

Ouh yes, just to care and share.
The other day when I was away at Johore Bahru, I really got bored with staying at home that I do not know what to do. I did all the house chores by afternoon and I am still all hyped up but I don't know what to do. So, I took out my Auntie's savings from the cupboard and start counting. Oh mind you, all are coins okay.

50 cents

20 cents

10 cents

The amount after the accumulation.
Oh my, this is how I am when I'm over there. I got nothing better to do.
I'll be going off to John Little later, yipeeedoooo!

OMG, Korea is in 4 days time. I ain't looking forward to it but I am because Mell baby is around. heh hehs.

2010-03-21T12:52:00.003+08:00

Oh my, the uploading of pictures on Facebook is really killing my patience like that. I have lots of pictures to upload, approximately 4 albums and I'm not even done with one. Now, I is sleepy because I only slept for two hours. Thank you. Call Love, want to go John Little to buy ehem ehem, he haven't wake up yet. And currently, I am like stoning with sepet eyes, waiting and waiting and waiting. fuckerleleh!

2010-03-19T19:25:00.002+08:00

I will always apologise whenever I had the chance to blog. I'm so busy, over the fact that I'm flying off to Korea in less than a week. And yes, I've not purchased thick jacket like that. And guess what? Mu luggage is half-filled with my things already.

I am so bored since I am over at JB. And I cannot meet love due to the unpredictable weather, we always have to cancel our plan at the last minute. Tomorrow, it's a must to come down to Singapore and I need to hit 313@Somerset please. So God, please give me a sunny day tomorrow. Taknak rain, please ):

Been busy looking through the powerpoint slides given by Mel baby. And now, I am recording down all the important details. Anyways, for sharing purposes, here are my flight details;

25th March : KE642 2245
05th April : Ke641 2120
I'll return home at night. So, who want to fetch me angkat tangan? heh hehs.

And babies, I hope to see you guys on the 22nd for Swensens. It's still on right? I really hope we could gather and bullshit together ((: Looking forward yah.

What else? I miss my old Bff. Though she may seem like I don't give a damn about her anymore, well seriously, I do. Though we do not talk often, I still read up your blog, just to make sure you are fine baby. And I know you are struggling now, with lots of things. But whatever it is, you always have me to count on alright? I'll give you the support. And I miss talking to you, sharing every bits of my life. I hope the time will come soon again so we can meet and do the usual things together.

And love, we have made this far, I am really proud of you lovely. Thank you so much for everything that you have done for me, it is greatly appreciated. And for whatever reason there is, no matter how many people wanna see us apart, I will always be here, right beside you. And together, we can make the relationship work. Let's not care about what people have got to say, because they don't really know what we have been through, and all the memories, I never want to let it stay, I want to make it grow. I love you, Hamirul Hasraff.

2010-03-17T20:52:00.002+08:00

Hello pretty humans :)
I'm all back from holiday from Pahang, Kuala Terengganu and Kelantan.
Please don't ask me how was the trip because I, myself don't wish to elaborate any further.
It sucks the hell out of me.
But I'm lucky enough cause love was there with me too.
At least, I got someone to entertain my everything.
I had a great fun with love because this is our first time to holidays together.
I hope more to come, Bangkok soon okay darling?

Guess where am I now?
Fuck you people, cause I am the biggest loser (Boooo to me) to come to a lan gaming shop near home just to check my FB and what's not.
Because there is no internet access at home so that explains. I swear I am bored to death today.
I eat, read storybook then halfway reading, I was found snoozing.

In the late afternoon, I went to Angsana, The Zon to search for boots and thick sweater.
And then, got nothing lah cikopek.
So I went to Giant (extra) to get my toiletries done.
I bought head and shoulder shampoo because it smells good and always remind me of love.

Okay, so I am going to come down to Singapore tomorrow, because fuck yeahh, i need to do something like bowling or karaoke.
with my fellowwssss loveliess.
And yes, I am counting down to Korea, bitch.
So cannot wait, but I am so going to miss the people around me.

ill be right back again for another update. wait for me yeahhhh.

2010-03-12T17:34:00.002+08:00

I made it.
Thank you God.
Now, TP slot all date not cantik2 seh.
So, I'll hold on to it still. Just need some regular check.
Hope I could get the date that I want though.
Or if not, perhaps, the best session.

And tomorrow, I will be going off to Kelantan, Terengganu and Pahang.
What's great is, Love will be following me.
Which is awesome!
And I will be back home on Tuesday morning, I think.

And then, I'm left with counting down to Korea babyyyyy!
And time to mould the future now.

2010-03-11T13:32:00.002+08:00

Abeh kalau aku dah upload gambar abeh tak tahu nak blog ape?
KIMAK, I IS LOSER.

2010-03-11T12:35:00.002+08:00

Well, women are all fickle-d. Agree?
No doubt, I'm fickle-minded.
Initially, I want to do this and later I want to do that.
And then, I'd think of whether to do this or that?
I could never make up my mind in anything right now.
Upon graduation, I feel all stressed up on whether to pursue my studies.
Somehow, I wish I don't graduate any sooner.
Now then I realise that life does not come easy after all.
It's all about making the right decisions.

And somehow, I'm making my stand.
Hope God is there to guide me through the days.
And I really hope that the decisions that I 've made is all worth it, afterall.

Now what?
I am going to start finding a full-time job once I am back from Korea.
Finish up my car license. 3 more stages to go, I hope I only need to attend 10 practical sessions.
And then, in May, I am going to Kaplan Singapore and submit my application.
I'm taking Bachelor of Arts in Psychology.

And Love has gotten a job.
I am so happy for you baby (:
Now he claimed, " lets mould the future together baby".
I hope those words you said is everlasting.
I'm going to do this.
Whats beneficial for both of us.
I look forward to everything.
Hope God help us through.

2010-03-10T02:59:00.001+08:00

Good think; HAPPY MONTHSARRY BABYY.

what's not?; I missed out the interview. FML FML FML FML. I hope ill get a second chance. Oh please God.

2010-03-09T16:32:00.002+08:00

I'm so sorry for not updating. Have been busy over nothing, just that I need a good break. That's why you people seldom see me online. I really want to enjoy my holidays, like rest at home, (I know i sound like the ultimate loser, but no). I need a peace of mind.

Ok, I shall go brief alright. And make it easier.

To all my loveliessss (you know who you are okay)
there will be a lunch cum catching-ups over at swensen on the 22nd!
We have yet to decide on the place and time.
Prolly, we will be heading down to Vivo.
Get it clear yah, dont get misunderstood yah darling.
Please, go update your organizer, diary or whatever you have.

And from the 12th-16th March, I will be away again for a holiday with my family.
To Kelantan, Terengganu and Pahang.
Please don't ask me why these places, because I need to follow mom, so what's new?

And then 25th will be to Korea.
I am looking forward to it but I am not at the same time because I am so going to miss alot of people for 11 days. I mean I've never been to holiday for so long. LOL.

update soon babiiiessssss!

2010-03-05T18:25:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was super duper fun with my classmates at ECP. Had barbecue with them but they left early. So this ZUFARHAN go and call everyone to come down and lepak. Surprisingly, everyone did turn up, which was really unexpected. GREAT!

And what's not? I never snapped pictures when I actually brought along my camera with me. STUPID kan? I think I was too occupied with them that I don't even have the chance to grab pictures. FML.

2010-03-05T15:18:00.000+08:00

All in all, I love you.

2010-03-03T23:14:00.002+08:00

It doesn't matter how many hours we had for each other.
It doesn't matter what people have yet to say about us.
It doesn't matter how many hours we talk on the phone each day.
It doesn't matter how many messages I get from you each day.
It doesn't matter if people around us want to see us fall.
It doesn't matter whatever that hold us back.

Because the bottom line is, we are going through this together.
And we have each other to do it.
We ain't going to give up on anything.
Until God tells us it's about time.

What's more important;
The love we have for each other.
The trust that we've been building.
The honesty.
The loyalty.
Everything.
No one else matters, except for me and you.

I LOVE YOU :)

2010-03-03T15:43:00.001+08:00

MSN is a bitch lah. Aiyaa, cikopek betul.
Now, chatting with the whole lot fun of beans and balls in msn.
And transferring picture of KAYELLE babyyyy!
Omg, I is so cannot wait to put it up here :)
What's not, heavy rush?
It's squeezing me yaw.

2010-02-27T13:10:00.003+08:00

I can be nice, if you are nice too.
I can be nasty, if you are nasty too.
I don't initiate moves, but if you want to play this game, get the ball rolling boy.
Wait till it's my turn.
Let's prepare a scoreboard, dice, you and me, on the board game.
And let's do this *evil grin*

you are too clumsy, this world is so small, must I repeat?
Even if it happens here.
Oh my, you will get a piece of me.
Try you best, and all the best (:

2010-02-26T19:27:00.002+08:00

I've yet been waiting for everything to go on smoothly. I know God is always there for me to guide me through. I need humans to support and motivate me in life. But God, He will determine what he has in store for me in the near future. Now what? Live in denial. Let's smile and laugh my heads off and pretend like nothing is bugging me.

How I wish I could lead this life as per normal; laughing my ass off everytime, and get the usual people to make my world go round. But now, where are there? GONE. Now, I'm all depressed because I fell into a trap where I know I can run away from the start. I know I am strong.

Iffa, thanks for travelling all the way to Yew Tee to meet me. I appreciate your lending ears and thanks for being there when I'm all in need. I love you.

And babies, meet up soon. An wants to go JBBBB. :)

2010-02-26T02:32:00.002+08:00

Oh God, it has been two months that I pretended like nothing has ever happened to me and you people may thought I am having a smooth and safe journey throughout the past two months. But no, I had a hell of a ride. I missed my ____________ for two months and it is not funny, AT ALL. I swear I am all scared to face up the truth or even the world. I kept all things to myself. I run away to KL for a break for a reason. You don't even know what's deep inside me.

And now, you ask for it again and again. Where exactly have I gone wrong? Tell me. You know I always want you in my life. You know me the best, so what else? I tried my very best to uphold everything but why do you just have to ruin it? You wanted to leave me so much, with me in this kind of situation. Now let me tell the whole world about it. How I felt, what I am facing now. I am at the most miserable state of mind, and you are not even there, to guide me through, when these things has been created by you and me. Where's the mercy for me? Now, you want me to face it all alone? You're totally absurd. I ain't working and I don't even have a money to spare for the kit. And you are here ignoring me like it is none of your fucking business. You think I go around and do it with the rest? I ain't a cheapskate bitch.

I'd rather fuck for money than fuck for baby.

2010-02-25T17:35:00.002+08:00

I am back from Kuala Lumpur yesterday, together with my cliques. I shall be back soon to update about it once I've received the pictures. I really need to grab a good rest because I'm having a bad dry cough since the trip. Moreover, I've been changing cigarettes so that explains my husky voice.

Kimak, halfway through all these. you really turn me down. Now that sucks the most. Let's not say it further. It's killing me deep inside. I'm crying. I'll suck it in, thank you so much.