at first i thought it was rumors .
but then again , i then realised it is a no-nonsense when it comes to these matter .
and only now that i get to know th truth .
condolence to th family .
in memory , noorharfirah .
rest in peace .
al-fatehah .

though im not close to her ,
we used to study together .
i get to know her at a tutor's home place .
it was unexpected though .
and i last see her last year , on th last day of fasting .
gosh , this is freaking me out .
i never know this could have happened .
but everything happens fo a reason .
redha . amin .

hello thursday .
ouh , pardon me fo th lack of updates .

something which im really proud to say is .
im starting to get my log book written down .
doing some quick revision .
get my butts in school now no matter how tired i can be .
ouh yeah , it feels so good when i feel my normal self .
so no more unnecessary issues to deal with okay .
im superbly tired dwelling on all th shits that people have caused me to suffer .
and yea , enough of brooding over small things .
because i have better things to do like think about my future ?
and im going to work hard fo it .
and yes , though plans are just plans , but still i wanna make it happen .
hold on to me tight baby ((: i love you so much

so yeah , in my PSEA account , i have $1200 left in it .
so yeah , facilitators are encouraging all th year 3 students to go on a holiday .
and there are three trips coming up .
to Korea
to Japan
and to Thailand .

KOREA trip is full so yes , i have to give it a miss .
moreover , the faci incharge is song sin nee , what makes you think she is going to select me ?
okay move on .
JAPAN trip prioritise Environmental Science students .
but still , im in SAS , so there are chances of me to get selected .
th trip is $2000+ (if im not wrong)
so i have to pay 900 + cash .
so yeah , again i have to give it a miss .
cause i dont think mom have sufficient money fo that .
shopping lagiii . HAHAH !
THAILAND seems so perfect .
i think i shall go with it .
but its 11 days trip .

but th bottom line of them all , i really dont know where to go .
moreover , there are cases like H1N1 virus around .
testing of nuclear weapon .
and still i feel safe in singapore .
i never wanna get myself mutated once im back home .
ouh help me , im indecisive enough .
talking to mom is not helping me either .
because , she will say a straight NO .
i guess ill talk to my sisters and brothers and help them psycho mom with it .
okay go , class starting soon .

and gary , i miss you i miss you i miss you

ouh , im pretty aware that everytime i log in to blogger to blog (DUH)
its either i share about my happy moments with th lovely people OR start complaining even about the slightest thing .

i left school halfway yesterday because
1. lesson sucks to th earth's core
2. classmates are too quiet
3. facilitator is too draggy
4. my cliques did not turn up fo school
so all these are the major factors explains why i left school early .

commitments have been heavy on my mind .
its either about school or family .
i know ive been neglecting my family a lot these days .
ill come back home late at night when they are asleep .
even if im back home early , ill spend the rest of my day sleeping .
and wake up in th middle of th night to do some studying .
suprisingly , on one of th days , mother knew i was hungry .
she fried fo me an egg and make a coffee so that i could get on with my studies .
ouh yes , i slept when i was halfway through my revision on th table .
thanks a lot mommy ((:

datelines are getting nearer .
gawd , i could never imagine myelf stepping out of RP .
what should i do .
everytime , when i sit with love .
we will plan so much fo our future .
and he has been very sweet to me and it makes my knees weak .
anws , though love's birthday is still a long way to go .
i have planned what i should do this time round fo him .
and i hope this will be a better surprise than last year .
ive made a list on what to do and what to buy . ouh gawd .

schhooooooollllll .
i thought that im th only one who would love to quit school .
but when i go around asking , there are a lot actually .
but they just endure and breath easy through th days till graduation .
ouh yeah , i wish i could do that too .
and i have not update my log book .
fo people who are really curious of what a log book is ;
it is where you do th report on what was done in the lab .
not forgetting th literature view you have done at home .
and things which you have just and yet to discover .
i wrote up till th 7th meeting and sadly i did it wrongly .
so that means i have to do it again .
because i did not include pictures on what was done in the lab .

i have not done any online report .
i have 19 more meetings to splat out in th student portal .
fuck , SAS have got a lot of things to do .

and i have yet to submit my draft fo my lab report where i need to vommit 3000 words in it .
and tell you what , i really couldnt cope with all these shits !
seriously , it has been bugging me even in my nightmares .
oh yes , i had enough of complaining .

and just imagine , th last weekend .
while i was studying , i cried .
because it is just so stressful when i couldnt even understand what on earth am i doing .
so , you see how stressful i am ?
i need a chill pill baby .
can someone just bring me to a nice and quiet place , and let me cool my mind off .
so that , i could do this right , this time round .

aku hanya ingin kao tahu
besarnya cintaku
tingginya hayalku bersamamu ((:

mohd hamirul hasraff , i love you baby ((:

dearest bestfriend .
i think we are drifting apart .
and i never blame you for that .
maybe its just fated .
though things could never be like before .
i just want you to know that .
the bottom line is
i still love you and cherish you as a bestfriend of mine .
i miss th old us .
th fun times we had spent on each other .
all those sacrifices you have done fo me .
if i were to go one day .
its not that i want to .
but things are on its edge .
and theres nothing i could do when it comes to this .
maybe im just a quitter in friendship . im stupid . i admit it .
i have this hopeless weaknesses .
and as muc as i did try to work on it , to no avail babe .
ouh , i just dont know what to do .
you may see me laughing during our lunch together .
but i feel all empty inside .
and i always pretended to be strong , that is virgo baby .
but no one knows what exactly i want in life and in this world .
ouh god .
let fate do it all . and if it fade away still , im left with no other options
but to breakdown and cry .

i have something to share .
well , out of random . but somehow its a MUST fo me to let it out .
ouh yea , i am supposed to sit fo my laboratory management UT today .
i did mug on it , but not in depth .
and surprisingly , i was acknowledged by mel .
that th test has been postponed .
i did not believe what she said till i asked Dickson .
and it has been confirmed .
postponed till futher notice .
so yeah , im extremely happy fo it that i feel like going to party tonight .
okay aku lame .

i find it a menyusahkan love to accompany me to study .
and he did , thanks a lot sayang ((:
though i did not put my mind into it .
im happy cause i still have time to study on it , a good revision on th module this time round .
something irrelevant: mell said that th way i put my mind into words sounds like an RJ
aku nye suke nk spell name kao mellllll . hahahahah !

okay bye , aku insane ady . update soon .
HAPPY WEEKENDS YAW !
step hiphop pulak .

ouh hello earthlings .
my days have been really great .
with my loved ones around me .
weekends ; to mustafa centre in th early morning after memekaking at grandlink .
with love , khai and mamat .
yes , im th only lady there , but who cares . im comfortable with them around me .
ouh moving on ..


yesterday , i went off to watch (above) with love at AMKHub .
im a bit mad with love at first , but everything is under control . heh !
after purchasing our tickets , we went off to grab a burger each .
bumped and talked a lot with niza and najib . wheni already met her in th earlier part of th day .
and yea , i bumped into Greg . yea , it was funny talking to him .
i shall rate th movie 4.5/5 . a must watch movie .
however , id still prefer Da Vinci Code . well , dpdp .
ouh yes , and im looking forward to this friday . i hope mira is on it ahh .
to watch night at th museum 2 .
its childish , but who cares ! bohhooo !

after watching movie , went off to th usual spot and off back home .
we sat at our fav place , and we had a heart to heart talk .
we patch up . alhamdulillah ((:
im th most happiest human being on earth .
ouh no words could describe how ecstatic i was .
it happened on my favourite day .
and yea , he was very sweet to me yesterday .
lets make it happen alright baby ?
i love you so much , sayang .
happy happy happy !
oopps , happy 4 years darling ((:

ouh hello earthlings .
i have tons of things to complain .
due to my stupidity , i went up to th wrong level , and im lucky enough fo i did not enter th wrong class .
fo goodness sake , it has been 5 weeks since school reopens and i still couldnt remember where is my class . ouh shit , i always get confused with my daily classes .
E66F , E65J , E65B , E65H .
i have yet to memorise all these unnecessary information . thanks eh rp .

move on , im really not looking forward to upcoming days .
because test will be held this thursday . and ive not prepared any yet .
im really on th verge of quitting school , seriously .
no motivation . even yesterday .
just because it rained , i decided to crawl up on my bed and go to sleep again .
see , th motivation is dying on me .
ouh can someone help me ? i think i need a psychatrist .

i have tons of things to share .
pardon me fo i did not update lately .
th fact that im really lazy to go online .
i really need to study , thats th thing .
fyp in 50 days time . ok close approximation , ouh whatever .
ill update when im really free .
obviously , when im done with my test .
ouh yeah , time constraint . so yeah , please endure me loyal readers ((:

love no matter what happens , i know obstacles come without having us expecting it .
and please be sure that im not doing any nasty things , im really loyal to you .
yes , actions speak louder than words .
i know conveying this to you now is not enough .
just give me th time to prove you that you have always been in my heart .
and no one else .
i love you so much , i swear i do .
no matter how bad it will be , im here , standing strong , fo us .
an apology fo hurting you .
i swear i was mad that i couldnt think what i was saying .
ouh gosh , and my left _____ still hurts .
i love you and i need you , always , forever it will be .

hello earthlings .
saturday looks like another weekday fo me .
cause i wake up late , just like my ordinary wednesdays .
lie down on th bed , and start to figure out on what to do later .
took out my laptop do some mugging with fyp .
to revise fo th upcoming test fo my MP module has never come across my mind .
i just cant be bothered . on th verge of quitting i guess .
because if i dont change my mindset , ill be of someone with no bright future ahead .
and somehow , i wishh i have graduated now but no . months later , perhaps .

this may be some thing random .
but i guess im starting to feel something is amissed .
and that is my best friend .
we have not been talking fo a few days .
th fact that our break has been cut short , and her time table is 2 days different from mine .
i felt so aggitated because i did not get to meet her that often .
we are just rushing things in school till we do not have th time fo each other .
like ive said , it suck a helll lot fo me .
and seriously , i dont wanna sound like a looser here .
but i have to let it out .
i miss you , yana . i wish we could talk soon .

sometimes helping out someone who just dont appreciate is just a waste of our time .
move on ...

ouh hello earthlings ((:
i woke up late , at 9 when school starts at 10 .
i hailed a cab from jurong and made my way all th way to woodlands .
i tot th fare would be really ex but it is affordable .
maybe th driver drive thru an alternative route instead of
going through kje , bke , sle .
i went to fetch diniy because he was late too .

and love is sweet . he woke me up early in th morning & yet im not awake .
so yea , when i woke up , i start to go blur , call him and still blur .
he passed me cash and starts nagging . because i did not wake up and in th end i have to waste money . tak kan nak minta tolong you hantar kann . heh !

anyways , i reached home late yesterday . at 4am .
and surprisingly , mom is nt asleep yet , so she started nagging .
because i have to school and yet i come back home late .
sorry mommy . i was out helping my friend .

shall not mention any of my friends name here .
but i hope th both of you could make up fo it .
play out your part . and i dont want you guys to destroy what you have built on so far .
though its still young .
and having th both of you to go on separate ways , im really going to miss either one of th party not to hang around with us . so dont end things alright .
ill play my part as a friend because i love you both .
never be a quitter ((:

and yea , when he advised a friend of ours yesterday , im always amazed .
because , ive never seen him so reall .
in simple words , speaking like a reall man .
i felt touched . well then i hope what is conveyed by you is worth fo us .
and i hope after what we've been through
really prove you enough that
i love you so much baby .

when both party is ready , we shall give it one more try baby .

i hapmus kat rabas uggnut 12ht in , babes sti ruo tsom elbaromem etad reve .

kao tk payah nak stare2 orang , prgi so th minahhh ehhh .
tsk tsk .

YOU DESERVE TO BE CALLED A _ _ _ _ _
A _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
A _ _ _ _ _
A _ _ _ _
A _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

WHAT ELSE ?
happy filling in th blanks .
i super hate it whenever you come across my mind .
because fo no specific reason , you made me get th others badly affected by it .
and i think i need some time alone now .
so if i ignore , im really sorryy about it .

and on a lighter note , i miss you , _____________ .
take care ehhhh . ((:

i wish i could start on revision on lessons which i did not attend .
i wish i could start mugging now .
i wish i could start elaborating ideas in report writing .
i wish i could have all lab works written in my log book now .
i wish i could get done with problem sums fo my tutor .
ill keep on wishing when i know it will never come true with no effort in it .
but i just need a motivator who could be there beside me , while im doing my stupid shit .
sitting at home is not helping me , because i do not have a proper study table to start mugging .
and how i wish wireless exist in my house so that i dont have to stuck in my sis's room and sit down on th floor and do my work .
because ill get my legs all semot2 lahh .

i have a lot of datelines to meet . fuck and im not doing anything about it at all .
i just cant be bothered .

sayang , im sorry if i turn you down last night .
or whoever turns me down last night .
but seriously , i will always love you .
and sayang , i wanted to tell you this .
and i dont have enough courage to .
so yeah , ill jjust have to wait fo th perfect time .
answer my call soon , i know you are sound asleep now baby .
i miss you like crazy , i miss you like crazy .

yesterday was quite a rushing day fo me .
well , did i update yesterday ? i cant even rememba .
ouh whatteva lah okay .
lets not bug on it . small th matter babe .

that bangles that were on my hand means a lot to me .
though its cheap but it brings thousands of colours to my life .
love bought that fo me .
and we exchanged one of th colours , yellow .
and too bad , th yellow snap off .
im left wth three . and somehow , love wears three instead of two .
kpo ehhh . lame ok bye .

it was my 2nd time meeting love's friend , fir yesterday .
he is funny . i laughed a lot when he talks .
and love always kene bully .
and i hope to meet fir again , but along with th gf .

ouh ya , on a random note .
a simple word to answer th whole thing .
curious .
well , i think you dont have to be suc a ____ and start to put words in someone else's mouth .
you made th decision , so why am i to be blame at th very end ?
maybe you are just a growing up kid , cant you foresee whats there fo you .
well , i think you are such a ______ ____ , having to be sooooooo optimistic when you dont even know that someone is bringing you down .
wait till , that happens to you , you have a long post from me , laughing at you .
YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING DISGRACE . -drogba , chelsea's player .
im so sorry fo _____ , because that person dont even know th reall you .
you are such a worthless _____ , admit it .

weekends .
at first we all planned to go fo a sheesha at night but it was canceled because one of our friend could not make it due to unforeseen circumstances .
after dusk , love called me and get ready .

so yeah , we went to IKEA at Queensway to window shop after which i made up my mind of getting mother a cactus .
yea , i wanted to buy th same fo love's mom but he insisted not to waste my money .
well , i dont think so sayanggg .
ouh yea , bought batteries at a very cheap price .
paid th things and off to buy hotdog .
we sat at th entrance's staircase and indulge ourselves with th delicious hotdog bread .

head down to carpark and start brainstorming fo ideal places to go .
love did not want to eat at first but i disagree because im afraid that we might get hungry during the early hours of th morning .
so we went to West Coast and have our super late dinner .
i had Mee Bakso whilst he had Fried Kueh Teow ((:

then , we went to look out fo a perfect place but sadly , there isnt any .
so we ended up sitting at Hortpark's bridge . and as usual , we camwhored .

he is supercuteee lahhh

told you , he loves GARY . lol !
(there are more pictures , but im impatient when it comes to waiting )

we head back to Jurong at 2+ in th morning .
we made a move when we saw unstoppable lightnings while playing Scrabble at PSP .
we were caught in th rain near Clementi Road . super drenched okay . especially love .
so i teased him because he washed his bike yesterday .
tu lah , i cakap tak nak dengar . heh !
and he demanded me to wash his bike + waxing .

sunday ; watched Man U Vs Man City .
Man U won 2 - 0 . credits to C. Ronaldo and Tevez .
ouh , i was sad when Ronaldo is substituted with another player . so no him on TV .
Tevez muke macam mutated ehh . ouh ok bye .

HAPPY 7TH LOVE .
YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU .

contradicting .
i have yet to see it coming .
please make it soon , i dont wanna let it be heavy on my mind .
i dont need any such wild accusations because i know where i stand
and i know im not that worthless .
ive been waiting since God knows when .
but i cant see it coming .
i am never going to face these hardships alone .
i wish i could tell you but im just afraid that we will end up fighting .
so i guess somethings are better left unsaid .

call me cepat ehh . sebab i wanna go back . i tak sedap badan .
and i need you now sayang . i rindu kan you , sumpah .

im unsure whether getting a cactus as a mother's day gift would be a great idea .
im still fickle like how i used to be .
at first , i tot of getting a dozen of red rose , but due to budget , i cant afford it and mom had received it right at th doorstep last year .
a teddy bear is not a good idea because i think shes not into it .
yes , th most worth yet priceless present would be a kiss and always be a good child to her .
but still , to show my appreciation to her , i still think that purchasing something fo her is still a good idea fo her .
i know she loves cactus .
well , she used to have 2 pots of cactus .
but then , i dont know what happen to it and i have no idea where it has gone to .
last year , she used to come up to my room , and show off her cactus to me .
how big it has grown into etc etc . -.-"

ouh can someone just help me in this ?
im trying to give th best fo her ((:

ouh , this will be totally random .
i looked through my pictures folder & decided to put up some of th best pictures , or people whom is worth to be in my blog's space .
though i meet some of th people quite often , i still do miss them .
anws , these are overdue pictures . but who cares right ?
what matters most is th memories we brought up together .
(pictures are not in sequence)

enjoy th pictures yerrr ((:


Syahidah Binte Salim - my blurry /cocky friend .
i miss you babe ((;


my class's professor , Haosu .


Sri Cempaka - my kinkiest mate ever ((:

my smoke break partner - we share almost single thing about us

noorilyana - my one and only best listening ear .
BFFL

my jurong cliques .
they always bring me to smile when i chilled with them .

lydia - my merepek merepek girlfriend .
picture taken at love's auntie place .
see how insane we can be when we meet ((:
i miss you babe .

jaja and ina . my BF too .
its been sometime since i last meet them .
theres a lot to catch up perhaps .
shall meet you guys soon .

mommy - shes always away to JB during th weekends .
most of th weekends i mean .
i miss th part where we will tease each other before we go to sleep .


danial halifi - naughtiest nephew .
i love his voice ; serak2 basah .

dhanie hanafi - th quietest but rebellious kid

haifa dhania - ouh cutey little girl .
semangat semangat skali .

ouh , my flirtatious nephew .
i wonder how is he now , what he is good at lately .
ouh goshhh , super cute and handsome ehhh

my two bloody cousins . (th guys)
they stay at JB . and though they have made a new passport .
but still , they never turn up in Singapore .
when shall we meet again .
we are just so busy .

this is something i didnt expect either . not .
i miss my dad too .
hes 59 this year , i guess .
i met him only once a year on accasion .
apart from that , never .
never do i call him just to update myself with his life .
no matter how seldom we talk to each other , deep down in me
i miss you so much Baba .

my closest sister .
she is th one where i will pour out every heartache in me .
she will be my punching bag .
she is th best of all ((:
i miss you and we shall share more alright .
i miss working with you though .
to smoke together , almost everything .
i miss having talking to you on bed till 5am in th morn .
and th next day , i did not go to school .
and got beaten up by brother and you defended me .


my brother .
i remembered th time when im craving fo A&W ;
he is th one who drive around JB just to look out fo th outlet .
but sadly , th day is getting darker , and we are dying of hunger .
we went to pizza hut fo dinner instead .
im not that close to him last time but now we talked more .
i miss you brother ((:

my dearest intelligent nephew .
study hard , and you know i always love you despite th
quarrel we had about you and nenek .


khai . he will ask us out but no idea where shall we go .
he is always there fo love . thats what im pretty sure of .
called love just to tell how his training like in camp etc etc etc .


al-halak - i love th way he speaks . hahaha !
no offence , but its really cute .
he seldom smile even this picture , i force him to smile okay ((:
shall meet you soon alright .

my GF - ilah . ive been meeting her quite often now .
and we talk more now , do we ? we shall plan on where to go later okay babe .
call me soon . and i miss you ((:

love love love .
though youre at th front of my eyes , you know i still miss you .
you have been th sweetest thing that has ever happened to me .
and no matter how hard it can be to go through th hurdle ,
i will always be there fo you .
i love you like i always do everyday .

we were happy at first but small things happened and we quarrel in a sudden .
im sorryy , i really am .