and i think im closing my blogg soon .
goodbye faithful readers .
i love you guys .
i cant afford to have so many memories to let go at with a shot .

hit me like a ray of sun
burning through my darkest night
you're the only one that i want
thing i'm addicted to your light
i swore i'd never fall again
but this don't even feel like falling
gravity can't forget
to pull me back to th ground again

everywhere im looking now
im surrounded by your embrace
baby i can see your halo
you know youre my saving grace
youre everything i need and more
its written all over your face
baby i can feel your halo
pray it wont fade away

im on cloud nine ((:
i love you so much hamirul hasraff
teehee

though things are different now ;
deep down in my heart , i still love you and always do .
and yes , i miss you alot right now .

good things happen to those who are willing to wait .
yes , im willing to , but will it be worth waiting fo it ?
well then , im afraid that it wont be want i always dream of .

im doing it all alone .
im on th verge of quitting .
people may see me laughing but nobody really know whats deep down in my heart .
i always thought you knew it all along , but not anymore now .
its saddening when you have to leave over someone whom i never could love again .
just nothing . i know you dislike me doing that , but my intention was good .
i just need someone to talk to ; dats it and nothing more .
i never talk about th bad things about you , i never wanna bring you down .
i just need advices , please be clear of that .

how am i suppose to leave without you ?
how am i suppose to do all these when all i needed is your support and motivation ?
why do you have to go away when i needed you th most ?
life sucks alot , aint it ?
i dont deserve to be in a situation like this , ouh pleasee ahhhh .

unfairnesssssssssss

confusion confusion and more confusions .
what else ? i cant seem to talk about it .
well , i just wanna be th bigger one and be th water .
though its never easy , im sure i can pull through all these .
life is never fair . dont you think so ?
when i start to obey and grab a better future , there must be someone to simply ruin it .
im a girl , i aint a guy who is strong enough to go through all these .
why arent you there to support me ?
why do you have to walk away in this kind of situation ?
i have th right to lead a happy life , why cant i ?
why do i have to dwell about all these ?
i should smile if it happen , but i cant .
because why ? th love remains there .
i know , i cant do it .
but to get myself stuck over someone , its not worth it .
no point clinging on to someone who dont love you anymore .
just go , if you think you should .

norhan , i pray hoping that you will wake up soon .
hope that things will get better each day , especially your condition .
please , i dont want you to go . never , it is so disheartening .
fight fo it , and i noe you can do it .
get well soon norhan .

and i hope one day you'll see nobody has it easy
i still cant believe you found somebody new ,
but i wish you th best ; i guess
everybody knows but nobody really knows
how to make it work or how to ease th hurt ,
we've heard it all before that everybody knows
just how to make it right , wish we gave it one more try
one more tryyyyyyy

things are different , yeap , and thats why i feel like talking here .
and no , im never going to talk about relationship .
everything goes on well between me and him , alhamdulillah .

i dont know how to put it in words.
how to create sentences that is stuck in my head.
i am sad , over certain things . i really dont know why .
ever since we have these misunderstandings , th day when we meet up , it felt so different .
maybe im a little emotional , but i just dont like the idea of it .
and with such issue , i would forgive and forget but i do create barrier too .
i just dont want to be hurt .
what niza told me is true somehow .
truth hurts and thats why you have to go and believe th lies .
i would understand if it happens once , but twice is something which i dont like it .
its as though you dont know how to appreciate me .
im busy with school and yet i do make some time fo you , but somehow , you just dont see it .
i backstabbed not to kill , but to make you realise .
i think we can never talk , never compromise . i dont know .
im just so confused .
if i were to run away one day and we didnt talk alot , i hope you would understand why it all ended up this way .
im really sorry but it hurts so much .
i never wanna lose a friend , who would want it right ?
but appreciation . we didnt talk when we met up , because i felt awkward .
stop it , if not i will go on explaining in detail .

and i know you are keeping things behind , i aint stupid .
if it is not , then why do i have to feel it ? maybe i love you as a friend too much .
and you kept things away because , maybe you thought i would blurt it out again .
but , its okay , i would understand .
if thats th case , i will walk away .
i miss you bestfriend _ _ _ _ , take care
and i think i never suit as a bestfriend of your .
im taking a step back , im sorry .

i miss th ladies .
have been busy with FYP , till i dont get to spend some time with my BF .
he's nice and he tries very hard to understand me .
endurance , that is it .
but fo a year ? no , i dont think i can do it .
i just need time with my BF , really .
i really miss th fun we had , just th both of us .

weekend funnn . update soon :D
growing crystals now , very tedious .
i have to keep on waiting .

norhan , i hope you are all stable now .
im really worried about you .
i guess ill pay you a visit after school .
condolence to th Gf's family ; it was saddening and unexpected .
its fated ; semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat . AL-Fatehah.

now everything is back as per normal .
i appreciate you sacrifices fo almost everything fo me .
i appreciate you sending and fetching me to/from school .
all that , a big big big thank you sayangg .
thanks fo giving me th chance to work on it .
you never fail to be there fo me , especially when im in need .
you helped me alot , physically and mentally .

now , im trying my very best to work on us .
i just need your support and motivation .
ouhhh , it feels like im falling in love fo th first time ever in life .
all that we've been through , th thick and thin ;
no matter how hard life could be fo us right now .
no matter what will come in later and stop us ;
i just wanna let you know that
I LOVE YOU baby :D

hello friends and haters .
weekend was marvellous fo me , but now my life sucks to earth's core .
well , i never wanna mention whats happening , but i just cant do it alone without him by my side . life is never fair , i need to take a small little steps at a time .

out with my cousins after 4 month of not meeting each other .
yea , hes been busy with his NS life .
he complained to me on whats happening in there and i feel like fainting . i couldnt take it anymore siaa .

so yeap bowling with them in the early saturday morning ((:

my loveliest closest cousin . thanks fo being there fetching me .
i love th ride , always .
i hope to meet you soon .

they make my day . i love you guys .

i just dont feel like talking much , im so sad sad sad .
damn

sorry babies fo th super lack of update lately .
been busy , i couldnt even find a time fo myself . well , maybe soon enough alright .
i was pretty upset over some matters , but im beginning to open myself up to everything .
some things , which are not meant to be mine , i let it go .
i was like sad , because of my bestfriend . amir asked me to talk to her , but i think i should have ignored it . its just a tiny-winy little things , i must say .
erm , lets not ponder on it anymore .

i think your vocabularies are limited and thus you dont understand what ive mentioned in here . so go get a dictionary with you , while reading my blog , okay .

ouh whatever , some things are better to be ignored . because , they are not over it , and it seems like quarreling over nothing would satisfy them . well , NO .
i know some times older people have to give in right , im raising a white flag .
fo my languages , cause i cant control my anger . im sorry alright .
but you better know why i say S-O-R-R-Y . fo i know that some times im at my fault fo hurling such things . but that doesnt mean by giving in , you can have a big laugh at me . i said sorry because i couldnt be bothered with it and when i come to think more about it , we are fighting over nothing . really , nothing . so why are we fighting in th first place ?
lets not turn it into a biggie alright ?
im just so tired , i have more pressure to count on , so better ignore this one .

weekends were marvellous , really like effing a lot . i enjoyed most of time with th people around me . shall update soon about it . and yea , im hell waiting fo GG S2E16 and 17 .

chalets pictures are up fo grabs people .
nudge me when you guys want it .
anw i miss you bunch of people alot .
shall meet up soon okay ?
maybe to botanic garden fo a picnic ?
hows that ?
shalll weee ?
beep me up sooon okayyy :D:D:D:D

yesss ahhh , i cant wait fo khai to book out today .
cause i really miss him like tons of kuacii . (okay no link)
khai 'ohk dok . besok aku book out aku picet kao'
ouhhhh weeeeee ~ i want 5pm now pleaseee .

lets talk about respecting straight .
well before that , pardon me fo i hurl vulgarities and involving parents in here .
but matter of fact , things got out of hand .
ive been seeing motherfuckers in blog lately , like effing a lot i tell you .
even in my tagboard , i can see spammers alreadyy .
welll , lets talk about respecting parents / elderly .
tell me if there is a need of me to respect your parents tell me ?
because , if th child did not respect someone who is way older than you , why should i give a damn on their parents .
look , every way that you behave , language spoken especially , is all reflected to your parents . which means that your parents taught you to speak like that .
didnt your mother ask you to wear nicely , not to flesh your tits here and there , let it bulge out etc .
'sebab nanti yang kene kate mama , bukan kao . nanti orang cakap mama tak ajar kao pakai sopan' so get th picture already ?
now , let me tell you this , i aint a minah like you define it .
even if i am , does it concern you ? and if i am a minah , you are picking a fight with one lah plsss .
if you despise minah alot , why do you bother to approach right ?

i respect my parents fo who they are and what they are .
and please if i dont , i would have hurl vulgarities , sharing how stuck up my life is with my mother , fyi .
but do i ?
and my mother taught me th basic etiquette , tradition etc .
what bothers me is you who start tapping on my shoulder .
now you got a kick in your ass .
tell you what , i cant be bothered anymore with you , please get out of my sight .
well you got scolded right , serves you right ! *sinister smile*
kenape ? jatoh ke girl ?
and so much of you being a terase in my blog , you start vommiting it out in yours .
loser , if you dare to speak up fo yourself , we meet outside .
stop being a superstar here in blog , you aint one . but you are a supertaik lah kannn .
if i could make such wild assumptions though i did not have vivid evidence , i would assume that th one who started spamming my tagboard is youuu .
can i say that ?
because through observation , it all started from you before my tagboard got spammed .
before this , i dont have any haters . but you are my first .
so if you dont want to see yourself in cell , please , like ive mentioned , stop all these cause its pretty sickening .
i aint a 17 year old bitch like you , started hurling in with bold and largest font in blog .
so siape nak step baik ?
so please , so malas nak layan lah okyyy ?
so now , get yourself out of th world , and fly away .
if you play with my fingernails again , you wish fo th better okay babe ?
okay go ((:

you stole someone's things , and start to claim that you are th innocent one .
hey poeple around , see it and observe it .
i have lots of witnesses around . get th reason why i have people reading yours , because i want them to be my witnesses .
its over and done , whats th point fighting on th base which is about a dick ?
i dont want it anymore , and now its your share ((:

i miss my dearest Danial now , i wonder how is he doing in school . is he catching things up during lesson . it must be really cute having him to concentrate and be serious in class .

i just cant stand young human beings nowadays . they can be such an anal in my ass . fuck , they dont respect the elderly . and expect the elderly to respect them ; wtf ? if you want to be respected by us , then ask your mother to respect you first lah . nbcb . no sense of respect , pretending to be a princess when you are a humpty dumpty .
have this earth go terbalik ady ? ouh gosh , this people are such a disgrace . seriously , i dont tolerate these people . i wonder how th rest are going to tolerate having such an employee like you . dont end up sweeping th floors at th void deck .
you deserve a scolding , to be humiliated , to be puke at . bring it on ((:

and to that lyana who tagged my blog
'dah gemuk nak minom starbucks'
ouh , baru aku tahu yg starbucks tu untok orang kurus2 aje ehh .
cetek nye otak kaoo , kesian eh , kalao ade 10 company starbucks yg otak mcm kao , rugi byk sioll . kalao aku gemok pon , kenape ? susah kan kao ? aku pakai duet kao ke nak beli starbucks tu ? tak kannn , abeh why bother sia ? kao should go get a life uh sia , i dont tolerate hatetag . kalao kao ada niat yg busuk bile bace , byk kan isghtifar lah okay , tak paham orang2 mcm kao . buat dose je , sume dose yg kao dah uat selame ni , dah clean nak tanggung lagi satu ? harap umat islam , tapi mane akal dan fikiran kao ? aiyoooo . mak kao tak kasi aku makan pon smpi aku gemok gini , kao tu kesian , tk cukop makan . hahahahahahaha !

last tuesday , i sent my closefriend off to NS , BRTC . its really saddening though we are just close . i used to be close to him when we were in secondary school days . we talked more when only like now . he's Amir's bestfriend .
at that moment , though hes not my boyfriend , but still i feel so sad because he is not around during th weekends . which means that i will only be seeing him during th weekends . i hope he is coaching well in there . hope everything will go on smoothly alright . all th best khai ((:
see you soon okayyyy .

i know im clumsy .
you play your part and ill play mine .
we are both supposed to lead a happy life anyway .
though things are different now , i still yearn fo you like i always did .
i love you , i swear ((:

back fo another post , though i really need a rest badly .
i love my bestfriend here .
she will give me a random call , care about me , pester me to go to th doc ,
start complaining about her work , and th best part is to gossip ((:
no one can break th bond between us .
even we had th slightest misunderstanding , we will talk about it and try to solve it .
she will always give in to me though i was wrong .
she made th greatest sacrifices that no one can ever did that .
i will try to make her day when she is really forlorn .
we love to get into last minute planning and to us it really work .
unlike planning weeks in advance , we will fail to turn up .
now , shes busy working , i understand . we shall go out once again during your off day .
another trip to mustafa centre ? HAHAHA !
i misss you badly , really , my bitch

and to that blardy bitch , slut , motherfucker , who uses her name in my tagboard .
please go and get a life you coward ass .
why not you have your name in it . please dont use my besfriend's name .
it aint funny like you think it is .
maybe you should sit in between your mother's leg , and start pulling off her pubic hair you shit .
hows that ? such a kental buah ladong betol .
NABEII CIBAAIIIIIIII .

return my call like you always did , i love you ((:

its hard to catch sunset due to raining cats and dogs lately .
everyday , i will experience th same thing ;
humid morning , raining afternoon and soothing cool night .
it isnt a good idea to go out in th month of march afterall , perhaps .
so staying at home , doing revision , and preparing fo next lesson (tutoring) is th only thing that can keep me going .
i have a lot of things to do;
student portal RJ , logbook need to be filled up and tuition matters .
i need a full-time left hand that can keeps on writing without failing .
well , a perfect time to myself now since it's pouring and i have all th books fo revision surrounded me now .

i guess i missed out one thing and that is

I NEED STARBUCKS COFFEE BADLY NOW TO DO MY WORK
well , maybe when th rain stops , i should go and grab it fast .
okay , that seems so pathetic .

anihoos , yesterday was a perfect date with you know who lahh kannn .
we went to mustafa centre to accompany khai prepare fo his NS .
(and i feel rather sad when he is going in less than 24 hours)
then out to grab dinner a simpang bedok .
i was really full , thank you so much fo th food friends .
it was a splendid time dont you think so ? though its kinda last minute and i hate it .
then off we went home ((:

you may be a part of me today and th day after ;
but i cant gurantee having you fo th rest of my life .
& i miss you like a lot now .

ouh weekends , im down with fever . shucks a hell lot isnt it ?
jangket niza agaknye .
well lets get it on with sharing oryte ?

it really scares th hell out of me , when i see married couples' have miunderstanding .
yeap , they fight just like in a bgr relationship .
they tend to be calculative , not give and take .
when all i know in life , especially with your soulmate , you should give and take and find th possibilities to settle th problem and not run away from it .
you were taught since young , to give and take with your other siblings , your bf/gf . but why do you tend to be so self-centred after marriage ? that isnt a good habit though .
i really pitied these people . but if you guys are not destined to be together , i guess thats fated .
i think th bottom line is , you should think far ahead of you before you speak because you might hurt other people around you . and be wise in making decision , so long as you dont regret in th future .
takut tao nak kahwin bile lihat rmi family tak boleh make it & in th end cerai .

well , yesterday i went to labrador park with my sis phamily and amir along fo fishing .
i forced amir to tag along lah kannn ?
so yeah , he accompanied me fo th night .
my bro-in-law with his endless jokes just make my day .
we did not get any fish though , because we were already tired in th early hours of th morn .
so yeap , we packed up and off to home sweet home .

i got myself two new students .
one is primary six and th other is pimary four .
so far , they did not give me any heart attack teaching them but i can see my P4 student is really weak in her mathematics . i know i have to push her ((:
th one whom i tutor in toa payoh , is not helping herself . she is effing lazy with her studies though i really tried my best . i believe th most important thing is th interest they have drawn towards their studies . they will not make any effort to give good results but just disappoint us with an ungraded grade .
whatever it is , i did play my part but not her .

ouh and yeap , before i end off today , lets make it short and sweettt .
i really miss my assholicsss .
meet up soon okay babes .
we shall sheeshaa , or do something interesting during th weekend .
so when will be th next party .
ouh , im craving fo it with you people ((:
miss you guys and meet up soon alright .

passerby are part of your life , once they are gone , the other half of you is gone .
be strong and have faith , and im sure you can make through it ((:
its easy and simple as ABC and 123 .

and this goes out specially fo you sayang .
i talked to my friends about you ; about th smallest misunderstanding we had .
and yes , they blamed me fo being hot tempered and being unreasonable .
you said that i was out of control , yes i admitted that .
i know i am never th one fo you . but despite all , my heart yearns fo you baby .
well , i dont know why , but you are everywhere around me .
i felt truly secured when im with you .
when i had your arms around me , i felt fully protected .
and when you kissed my forehead before we bid goodbye , i know you love me .
you were there to wipe away those tears away .
you were always there to make my day .
ensuring that i reached home safely when im a lil tipsy .
i know this is not what you want in me .
i know im not what i am before .
and i knew i have to get myself back on track .
i couldnt figure out whats becoming of me .
but despite all , i love you , i swear i do baby .
i know you are all disappointed in me , but this is not what i want to .
i know you can never believe it , forgive me fo hurting you .
i didnt mean to , really it wasnt a lie .
my apology fo shouting at you over th phone , i know you hate it .

im trying to change .
ill take every challenges as a stepping stone to have you back in my life .
all i need is patience and confidence .
if you did not come back , you were never mine , never .

can we take it slow baby ?
im hoping to hear this answer from you .

everybody knows that but nobody really knows
how to make it work , or how to ease th hurt
we've heard it all before , everybody knows
how to make it right , i wish we gave it one more try

now laptop is in hand but i have yet to upload pictures which are due in my pinky camera .
im sooo busy with school that somehow i think that holidays are meaningless to me .
holidays = no allowance .
and i really need to work badly but FYP just hinders me .
i have to prioritise my school work than searching fo money . or maybe , i have to find some alternative ways to earn money .
dad is not giving me money that even when i need to come back to school , i dont have sufficient money to get on a bus ride .
and i have been trying my best to understand my family's condition now though its really a heart ache fo me .
well , if this is a challenge from God , i will face it with patience and just pray fo something good to happen .

yes people , i dont tolerate self-centred people .
and i felt disgusted having a friend who took pills just to groove their ass out .
if this is a way to get yourself slim , think again .
you are just having too much chemicals in your body that i would prefer God to take away these people's life than seeing them torturing themselves .
just what on earth are they doing ? dont they think of the consequences or think about others who are really clean from drugs ?
if you think it have never been a clean one ; i have a question fo you .
define liquors and pills .
if you wanna get yourself drunk , then its up to you .
because once you are legally 18 , you can drink okay .
and if it is against th law , tell me why do they sell it in stores ?
but ask yourself , do you see pills in stores fo sale ?
urgh , you get th picture now ?
so much of your mother send you off to school to gain knowledge , you betrayed your mom by consuming drugs behind her . what if she ever get to know all these , how would she feel ? just put yourself in her shoes ; and think like how a mother thinks .
i used to have a friend like this , and i choose to avoid these shits .
please , it scares th hell out of me .

you are given a brain , your major organ i would say to get your body to function , cant you just think like your age ? are you still young that you cant even distinguish between a pussy and a dick ?

i know where i stand , i drink , i club , i smoke but i dont drug .
i dont , and never in my life .
and as far as im concern , i would stay away from these kind of people because they are really crazy bunch of people and i think that they are really trying to get a life by consuming drugs and yet they failed . i stay away from all these , im afraid ; really .
though you see me as your most understanding friend , whatever you wanna judge me ;
i believe strongly that i have my own stand in life and personality .
i would stay away from these people .
now , thats me .
you dont like it , you leave .
you are not only a disgrace to me but also to th society because you have to go fo a rehab .
get yourself hang and cold turkey , wth !
just think about your future , if you think you should get one lah okayyy .

take care , live your life to th fullest but never
consume drugs people
GOD loves you ((:

okay , my lappy is away with my bf .
and currently , im using shida's sayangg laptop .
i have tons of things to share , thats what im really sure of .
and yess , i miss my laptoppp , really alot lahhh .
bf has been so nice to me .
throughout th days at the chalet and everytime we meet up .
he will always try to make a memorable day fo th both of us .

hamirul hasrafff
i would like to take this opportunity to thank you alot fo taking care of me at th chalet .
well i dont know what will i be if you were not there , but i swear you were someone whom you never were last time and that is so sweet of you bf . i really appreciate all your sacrifices and effort , that is so sweet of you bf . no matter what happens , what i can promise you , i will always love you till my soul leaves my body . i hope you understand about what had happened recently and accept me fo who and what i am . i know my limits , thats what im sure of . intention was clearly stated , its a matter of trust baby .